"nobody really cares about your shitty problems, no one. No matter what is wrong with you, so don't bother trying to reach out to people; as soon as you turn your back they laugh at you."

I don't think that's a universal truth as much as it is her truth. If you've ever felt legitimately good about yourself after listening to somebody else talk about their problems, you know it's not true for you.

A lot of people who have not been sexually abused or are in denial have a hard time listening to someone talk about being abused and don't understand the devistation. That's why we need to support each other.

I agree with Steph. I had very verbally abusive foster parents and they did not care. Healing from sexual abuse is the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do!!!!!!!!!!!!! Repressing what happen will, in time, rear its ugly head. I did not get help until I was 40. You use alcohol, I used men. I know there are many on DS who genuinely care about their fellow survivors. You mother is negative and not the person you want to share your pain with. I had to literally not call my family. They were downers. I would cry when I got off the phone because they truly had no compassion for me and what I was going thru. Please reach out to those who really care. My hope is that you can go to therapy and get all that anger out in a safe place. Therapy saved my life. DS helped me get thru the rough places and dark places in my life.

Ophelia Slipstitch,

It's your choice:

--You can adopt your mother's beliefs or you can create your own.
--You can repress what happened or you can face it.
--You can pretend it never happened--which is nothing more than lying to yourself--or you can face it.
--You can numb yourself with alcohol or you can get real.

Your healing rests with your choices.

You've heard the saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink," well that saying also applies to healing; you can search the world over for someone who cares (and there are a lot of people who genuinely do, by the way) but there is no one in the world who can MAKE YOU feel better--that's up to you.

It's your responsibility to heal yourself. I chose to find help because this was one journey I could not make alone. I found some who were gifted healers, some who were average and some who had no business being in the healing realm.

I experienced some who cared deeply, some who cared from 9 to 5 and some who cared only for themselves.

But the bottom line, Ophelia, is that if you want to heal you must keep going until you find the healing people and methods that work for you.

Your choice....

Great response Suz...I agree with it all

Clearly Ophelia, you feel it's hopeless that there is no point in trying to recover and heal as it's all a sham thus the answer is to repress and drink. All this says to me is how depressed you are to the point of giving up and if you truly believe no one on here or elsewhere cares, that's a scary place to be. I certainly disagree and know from personal experience that many. many people here truly care...you just need to be open to it. Ultimately, the choices are yours. You can choose to trust no one and believe no one cares do what you've said "repress and drink" but I can tell you, I guarantee it will lead to disaster...repression doesn't work period. The intense pain will come out in a 100 different ways..it will not go away or heal ...and alcohol nor any other drug only gives temporary relief but sets up many more problems. I don't delude myself and believe I or anyone else can change your mind any more that an alcoholic in denial can be convinced they are alcoholics...they must hit bottom and come to it on their own. When you hit bottom...try again and act "as if" there are some people who actually do care...and allow someone in just a little. There is help, there is hope for anyone willing to put their hand out and ask for help. When your ready people will be there for you.

I'm sorry everything seems so bleak right now but it will change...I seriously tried to take my life in my early 20's because I believed something similar to what you believe..I too believe no one really cared that in the end everyone cares primarily about themselves. I felt so isolated and alone and was convinced it would never change. Thank God I didn't die as things did change and I know now that it's true everyone are primarily concerned with their lives but it doesn't mean they don't care about others...they absolutely do. But no one can be there for you 100% of the time day in and day out. They have lives too...back then I thought caring mean a person needed to stop their life and only live for me...not real life. Some care and devote more time than others but there's no shortage of people who care and DS is case in point. I wouldn't take my time to even write this if I didn't care yet I have even knowing you'll likely reject it...but some part of me felt compelled to at least try and give you some hope...something it sounds like you have very little of right now and I know from personal experience, that's a scary and horribly painful place to be.

Please stay safe...it will change as long as you stick around

I find that helping others helps me.

I think your mum perhaps wanted to keep you isolated and alone by saying that bit of nastiness.

Bet it made you easier to control.

I agree with Suz too. Great response.