Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I am struggling immensely at the moment, constant flashbacks, body memories, severe depression. I am finding it extremely difficult to cope on a daily basis and I feel it's just getting worse. I have always bottled up my emotions and pretended everything is okay, well my bottle is about to burst because all those times of keeping my past to myself is finally taking it's tole on me. I want so badly to be able to fully open up to someone about the abuse but I just feel I will be judged for it.
I think starting on this site will help give me the confidence to start sharing my story though, surrounded by people who understand what I've been through.
I'll give you my background briefly. I'm a 17 year old male and I have been sexually abused by four people growing up, one being my own mother. My mum is a heroin addict and ex prostitute, and when she got bored of selling her own body she decided to sell mine, and my sisters. I have been raped by three different men, one man sexually abused me for 3 years ages 11-14. In those three years I was abused by my mum also. The man wanted to watch my mum abuse me because "It turned him on" we never had sex but she touched me and made me touch her, I was forced to give oral to her. This happened twice and it's my worst flashbacks and what causes me the most embarrassed... Having sexual contact with my own mum... Makes me feel disgusting and ashamed. She even told me she hated it and just wanted her free fix, that it was my fault, like I was the one who abused her.
The man who abused me for three years was extremely violent and if I didn't do what he said Id be punished. The other two men who abused me when I was 8 and 10, and it went on for a few months.
So all this is because my mum sold me to feed her drug habit, she didn't care about anything aslong as she got her fix.
I think starting on this site will help give me the confidence to start sharing my story though, surrounded by people who understand what I've been through.
I'll give you my background briefly. I'm a 17 year old male and I have been sexually abused by four people growing up, one being my own mother. My mum is a heroin addict and ex prostitute, and when she got bored of selling her own body she decided to sell mine, and my sisters. I have been raped by three different men, one man sexually abused me for 3 years ages 11-14. In those three years I was abused by my mum also. The man wanted to watch my mum abuse me because "It turned him on" we never had sex but she touched me and made me touch her, I was forced to give oral to her. This happened twice and it's my worst flashbacks and what causes me the most embarrassed... Having sexual contact with my own mum... Makes me feel disgusting and ashamed. She even told me she hated it and just wanted her free fix, that it was my fault, like I was the one who abused her.
The man who abused me for three years was extremely violent and if I didn't do what he said Id be punished. The other two men who abused me when I was 8 and 10, and it went on for a few months.
So all this is because my mum sold me to feed her drug habit, she didn't care about anything aslong as she got her fix.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
I want to thank you for sharing your story. It was very brave of you as I know it is never easy to reveal the secret we were threatened to keep. But each time you tell your story, even pieces of it, it gets a little easier and all parts of you understand that nothing bad will happen if the secret is told.
My therapist always taught me that shame was an emotion that has no power as long as you talk about what you feel ashamed of. So please keep talking about it, as much as you can, and that feeling of shame will go away. I know it's hard to talk about but this is a safe environment so please keep talking to us.
I feel sorrow that that awfulness was done to you.
...I was abused by my dad. Being so abused was just horrible, and it took a long time to not hate myself for what he did to me.
...so I understand where you are pretty well.
You feel shame and disgust, but the shame is not properly your shame. You were a child.
It really, really was not your fault.