Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
It has only been 2 sessions so far. I have done some work in therapy before so it's not a completely new experience for me. I always get a bit nervous and sometimes my mind goes blank or races and I bounce from one thing to another. Simply put , I babble. I opted to work with a male therapist this time and so I am babbling double time and more nervous than usual. I want to work on the way I relate to men so yeah. I still stand by my choice and I like him but........I don't even know what I am trying to say here. I feel very vulnerable with him. Does anyone else feel nervous in therapy sessions? Is it a common thing? Why does my mind go blank?
healing that can be achieved
for me being nervous is a healthy thing.... if you weren't I would wonder if you were in touch with your feelings at all..... and you are nervous exactly bcs you feel so vulnerable
I can only talk of me and personal experiences........ safety and control are big issues for me (understatement) and when I enter a therapeutic relationship with someone I don't know I have to forego some of that safety and control..... until I get to know the therapist I have to trust them to be able to keep me safe whilst in the session with them... by safe I mean not push me too far in whatever I am feeling and exploring... also I have to trust them to be understanding and non judgemental of me... to validate me and basically be on my side as it were.... and we don't know any of that is going to happen until we have been seeing them for a while so it is a huge leap of faith.... whilst I believe we can get a feel for a therapist straight away... I also believe it takes a few sessions to truly see if they are a right fit for us... and for those few sessions we can leave ourself raw... so to protect ourselves we may find that we are not sure what we want to talk about... hence our mind goes blank
personally I feel not knowing what to say is to keep ourselves safe.... we are not sure what is safe to talk about initially.... we want to test them out.. trust is gained and not a given.... liking them is a huge bonus.... I've seen my therapist about maybe 10 times now and I trust her implicitly but sometimes my mind also goes blank... so I just talk about the first thing that comes into my head.... whether it feels relevant or not... and it usually turns into something that is
what I try and do sometimes is sit and think in advance what it is I'd like to talk about.... even if it's vague and general... and take that to the session and use it as a starting point... even if it's not a real issue I want to work on... that will come in time ... and is usually related to the things you think are non issues anyway..... and if you get stuck I'd suggest just telling him that your mind has gone blank and you can discuss that and it might open up some awareness for you too
feeling vulnerable can be terrifying.....feelings of lack of safety / control / trust for me are the issues.... but I now trust my therapist implicitly and again I'm a massive advocate for the therapeutic process
I hope some of this makes sense to you..... it takes courage to do what you are doing and I wish you nothing but the best
good luck x
On the subject of your mind going blank.... I just talked about this Friday in my therapy session. My therapist explained it this way - When the mind has so much confusion going on it struggles to find order. And in this struggle, it will often discard a thought in the attempt to find order. This isn't word for word what she said, but it is how I interpreted what she said. What prompted this discussion was a story I was telling her when I was a child. I would often start telling my mother something and then, half way through, all thoughts would drop out of my head and I would stop talking. Then, maybe 15 minutes later, the thoughts would return and I'd finish the story. I guess what I'm saying is, for all you have been through, and all that is running through your mind, it's very normal to just go blank. I look at it as the mind just takes a break for a few minutes.
Good luck with therapy. Please keep us posted on how it's working for you.