Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hello everyone. I am new here, but I thought I would be brave and jump right in because what I've read, everyone seems very kind.
A bit about my background... I have suffered abuse at childhood age, teenage and then as an adult. I was married for 11 years and my husband divorced me for someone else which was devastating to me more than anything because I had trusted him sexually. I find it very challenging and extremely scary to embark on a new relationship and the thought of it ends up making me afraid and I just do without it altogether. Finding someone you can have a loving, caring and trusting relationship with is difficult enough, but having to discuss the abuse of my past always becomes a question for me.. when do I tell them? I often don't even want to have sex at all and in a new relationship, the other person is usually eager to after a few dates and they make me feel like I am such a prude or a freak for not being interested and putting it off for longer.
I want to find love like everyone else, but end up alone and never dating at all because it is too hard and traumatic to do. Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks.
A bit about my background... I have suffered abuse at childhood age, teenage and then as an adult. I was married for 11 years and my husband divorced me for someone else which was devastating to me more than anything because I had trusted him sexually. I find it very challenging and extremely scary to embark on a new relationship and the thought of it ends up making me afraid and I just do without it altogether. Finding someone you can have a loving, caring and trusting relationship with is difficult enough, but having to discuss the abuse of my past always becomes a question for me.. when do I tell them? I often don't even want to have sex at all and in a new relationship, the other person is usually eager to after a few dates and they make me feel like I am such a prude or a freak for not being interested and putting it off for longer.
I want to find love like everyone else, but end up alone and never dating at all because it is too hard and traumatic to do. Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks.
When I separated from my husband of many years and my nephew wanted me to go on-line to meet guys I remember wondering how I was supposed to act on a date.
Obviously, I was no longer a virgin and I knew that guys expected sex after a few dates but I just wasn't ready to get into the dating scene under those conditions.
It took me a few years to realize that, for me, sex was going to be a low priority, initially. I wanted to build a friendship before ever sleeping with the guy and if they were unhappy with that arrangement then I was dating the wrong person.
I wasn't going to offer my most intimate self to a guy after a few dates, no matter what he expected; I wanted our sexual connection to mean something...and that doesn't usually happen after a few dates.
As for talking about the abuse, I'd wait until some type of emotional connection was made. It's much easier to share that part of your life with someone who cares.
xx
SuzA