Hello everyone;
I mentioned this topic in an unrelated post, and found that some members expressed a need for understanding in the area of sexual abuse of those over the age of 55. This is a HIGHLY under-reported area of abuse for reasons I will explain.
I worked as an Elder Abuser Investigator and there were many forms of abuse that I encountered - mostly financial abuse from caregivers or family members that took advantage of a older of a person that they had contact with. But, of the various types of abuse (physical, emotional, mental, financial, sexual, neglect, and medical) that our agency encountered, Sexual Abuse was the most damaging, the hardest to detect and the least reported due to a variety of reasons.
Now, not all senior citizens are dependent on others for their care, but so many are; and due to that dependency, they are vulnerable to much abuse. Sexual abuse was devastating to our clients, as they had so much to lose should others find out - or at least they perceived that to be the case.
So why did they not report? Many felt ashamed that they were not able to protect themselves any longer; if the abuser was a family member then the shame of being a victim of incest was overwhelming to them. Also, seniors are still open to the self-blame that victim of other age groups experience often. Others felt that if they said anything the abuser would hurt them in other ways. Many were abused by their caregivers and felt if they reported they would have to go live in a nursing home, rather than be able to stay at their home as they were.
MIGHT TRIGGER DUE TO DETAILS
So how did we find out about the abuse? Often we were contacted by the client's doctor who determined that the client was being sexually active due to various genital infections, odd bruising and torn or abraded genital areas. Some caregivers would detect the possibility of abuse and then call us.
So how can you know if an elder family member is being sexually abused? An older person often will bruise very easily, and more than once we saw where the abuser grabbed and gripped the client during sex. Also, sexual infections or genital damage when the person is not seeing anyone or having sexual contact to anyone's knowledge. A shift in personality or sudden onset depression for no apparent reason, or sudden onset of odd behaviors such as not allowing others to assist them with toilet duties or such, which in the past were not bothersome to them. Sudden expression of fear around someone they previously were close to, or unreasonable isolation from all contact can all be signs of such abuse.
Most of these indicators can also be signs of other, medically based personal changes, but if you know of an older person who is showing such signs, it is best if they are seen by a physician for evaluation.
I know this is a subject that many do not think about, as in this day and age we usually think of younger people as being sexual, and the idea that an older person can be used as a sexual object is just not in our consciousness - but this goes on everyday and it can truly ruin the later years of a person's life. Predators often look for vulnerable populations and children are not the ONLY vulnerable pop out there. These same issues occur among Mentally Disabled persons of all ages also.
Just another FYI post - but perhaps it will help one person out there. If any older member wants to talk about this and does not feel good about the open discussion, they are welcome to PM me and I will help as possible.
All my best -
Refuse2quit