Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I am not sure if this is the right discussion group for this topic but surely if it is not someone can direct me to the right place.
Sexual abuse at any level is unacceptable and must be addressed. I have a friend in need and I don't know how to advise him. He has an adopted daughter that has been making sexual advances towards him. He has felt she was doing this to manipulate him into helping her see a girlfriend in a lesbian relationship. He did not discuss this with this wife when it first started happening and when he did discuss it the blame was put on him and thus a separation of the marriage has taken place. He wants desperately to save his marriage but does not know the steps to take to do that. He wants counciling for his daughter and he himself has started counciling. His wife is not coping well with the situation which is understandable. She does not want him anywhere near the daughter. He is afraid if he does get the counciling that is needed for her he may be legally facing some charges. At this point he is not willing to risk having legal charges put on him and his wife is afraid of that also so she is being careful how to handle the situation. Is there anyone out there that can give some type of direction of how to get some counciling and minimize any legal programs for him? He has talked to his councilor and has been told that if the counceling continues he may have to report the case. My friend went to his pastor for help and was told that it would have to be reported if they are to start counceling for it. Any help you can give with direction for the family please accept a thank you in advance. I spoke to him briefly and recommended joining DS. He said he would check it out later today.
Sexual abuse at any level is unacceptable and must be addressed. I have a friend in need and I don't know how to advise him. He has an adopted daughter that has been making sexual advances towards him. He has felt she was doing this to manipulate him into helping her see a girlfriend in a lesbian relationship. He did not discuss this with this wife when it first started happening and when he did discuss it the blame was put on him and thus a separation of the marriage has taken place. He wants desperately to save his marriage but does not know the steps to take to do that. He wants counciling for his daughter and he himself has started counciling. His wife is not coping well with the situation which is understandable. She does not want him anywhere near the daughter. He is afraid if he does get the counciling that is needed for her he may be legally facing some charges. At this point he is not willing to risk having legal charges put on him and his wife is afraid of that also so she is being careful how to handle the situation. Is there anyone out there that can give some type of direction of how to get some counciling and minimize any legal programs for him? He has talked to his councilor and has been told that if the counceling continues he may have to report the case. My friend went to his pastor for help and was told that it would have to be reported if they are to start counceling for it. Any help you can give with direction for the family please accept a thank you in advance. I spoke to him briefly and recommended joining DS. He said he would check it out later today.
The daughter is the one that made the advances. He did not put a stop to it immediately hoping that it would pass. She was trying to manipluate him into helping her get her way. He wants her to get help/couceling but he is not sure just what she will say and possibly lead to problems for him.
On the good side of it I spoke to him tonight and he and his wife had a very productive discussion today. She is starting some counceling with the daughter. the daughter is willing and admits to her wrong doing. I am heading to bed now and will be saying some prayers for this situation to be resolved and they will be able to have a wonderful healthy family again.
bringing things into the light is best and it should have been done at the first hint of impropriety on the daughter's part, if that is what happened. a lot of this depends on what you mean by "sexual advances" and how far he let them go. if he didn't put an immediate stop to something that she was doing, then it can look very bad for him--as the adult in the situation, it was his responsibility to do the right thing and control that situation--giving in in any way, or letting her proceed forward with some kind of a come-on would be seen by many as acceptance of it because by his adult status he is the one who is in the place of responsibility for his choices. He'd have had the choice at any moment to walk away and expose what she did and get her help at that moment, regardless of manipulative plans.
for example...as a teacher, if a male student walked in and tried to make an advance toward me to manipulate a higher grade....would i somehow be indebted to not report this? of course not. i'd immediately put a stop to it and change nothing.........unless somehow i was intrigued by what was going on.....in which case of course i'd have put of telling anyone about it, and be really sorry that it was coming up later. i don't know, it all sounds a little fishy to me--then again, i don't know any of these people.