Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Remembering anger... Help?

somebody
somebody

I have to vent... today while at work (I work at a drug and alcohol rehab) there were speculations that one of the patients may be a pedophile because of some “off beat comment” that he made about young girls. This got the attention of my coworkers and one of them decided to look him up and see if he was a regestered sex offender. He didn’t show up and she let us all know that “he isn’t, because he didn’t show up”. I have a habit of speaking before I think and I said “well, the people who hurt me won’t show up either” my coworker knows a little bit about me (we are all very close there since me and my coworkers are all recovering from something) and she said “aw that’s just not right”. It made me have a flashback to when I told the police about what happened to me. One of the times I was assulted was in high school and a friend of mine encouraged me to tell the police about what happened to me. They were no help at all and did not take me seriously despite my uncontrolled shaking and sobbing. Their response still haunts me; “even if we wanted to help you, it happened too long ago”. Yes, you read that right.  I confided in the police 3 months after the assault and they told me it was too late and even let it slip that they had no interest in looking into what happened and that was the end of that. This event at work reminded me that the people who hurt me and left me with these scars are still walking free and it makes me want to break down.


so, TLDR: Does anyone have any advice on how they deal with the lack of justice for what happened to them?  

Momabearx10
Momabearx10
That is an absolute correct statement, the people who hurt us are often to most least expected and many people don't realize that. The police are in the absolute wrong there in my opinion, but I guess its different in different places. Therapy would be the best way for you to deal with all this. Maybe even contact a lawyer and see if more could be done. If that's what you are wanting. As a Mom whose child has been hurt and facing court. I honestly have no idea how to deal with the outcome if its no justice. Our therapist seems to think she can help us with that. So I gotta trust that.
Beatha
Beatha
I'm sorry, somebody - what the police said and did (didn't do) was not okay at all. At least where I live, law requires the police to investigate any sexual criminal offenses, no matter how long ago. There's also a "victim protection law" here, that requires police to react in certain ways, e.g. a woman who's been sexually assaulted has the right to be interviewed by a female police officer.

I recommend anyone who seeks justice to make sure they're supported, best by NGO's who help survivors of sexual abuse/assault.

That being said: I did seek justice but didn't get it. It's not easy. At all. Knowing that the perpetrators are still free and probably commiting new crimes still makes me want to scream at times. But there is nothing I can do about it, and that's it. I can live in eternal helpless rage and bitterness - or I can move on, know I did what was in my power and accept I can't change the outcome. Accepting that is a work in progress.

Momabear - I'm sorry your child has been hurt and I hope with all my heart, that justice will be done.

To all survivors who deal with that: *support*