Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Recently I went through a breakup with a man I dated for 3 months because he said he didn't want a relationship. This person had been a good friend of mine and the only man I considered a "good guy". He was very callous about it and kicked me out of his apt. Since then, we spoke a couple of times when he helped me move and was to drop off a birthday gift he had bought me when we were seeing each other. But he never initiates contact and is very distant when we do have to interact. I have a feeling that if I stop texting him, even though is not often anyway, we will never speak again.
This makes me feel very used and like I didn't mean anything to him. This is especially hard for me since I have history of childhood sexual abuse and it's been difficult for me to trust and have sexual relationships as an adult. I'm overwhelmed with shame and am having some thoughts of suicide. I don't know how to accept the situation and live with the mortifying embarrassment that this man has seen my body and the things I've said and done during intimate moments. How can I get past this without feeling like I'm worthless?
This makes me feel very used and like I didn't mean anything to him. This is especially hard for me since I have history of childhood sexual abuse and it's been difficult for me to trust and have sexual relationships as an adult. I'm overwhelmed with shame and am having some thoughts of suicide. I don't know how to accept the situation and live with the mortifying embarrassment that this man has seen my body and the things I've said and done during intimate moments. How can I get past this without feeling like I'm worthless?
I'm sorry you are going through all of this. It is part of mourning. You have to keep telling yourself that you ARE NOT WORTHLESS. You are a wonderful person with a good heart. You just need the right person to share your heart with.
Stop texting him. Contact with him should not even be an issue.
Shame? Shame on him for being so callous.
If you continue to feel suicidal, please get some help a.s.a.p. You are in this world for a reason. You will find out what it is one day and rejoice.
I hope that day comes soon.
peace and love ... Kyle Anne
As for the mortify embarrassment that he has seen your body and knows intimate things about you - maybe it will help to keep the perspective that, with 7 billion people on this planet, there's a WHOLE LOT of "intimacy" going on. Whatever you may have done and/or said in intimate moments, it's not unique, I can almost guarantee you that.
good luck!
-kayla