Look for a survivors group in your community, and at least collect names of specialists currently practicing. Try to identify therapists that specialize in adult survivors of childhood abuse. You don't want to have to reinvent the wheel with a therapist that doesn't already work in this sub group. Check with your country mental health association, and do google searches. It's not an exact science, and establishing trust with anyone is tough for any victim. If you don't want to speak to a man, limit your searches up front. If you need someone who is sensitive to specific religious or cultural issues, try to find someone who can help with that. Spend a lot of time on the phone and the web before you set foot in a therapist's office. It may still be a bad fit the first time, but you can improve the odds of getting what you want. And remember that what you want most of all, besides trust, is a coach to help YOU process things. Healing is actually a pretty solitary journey, and a therapist that can be there for you as you move forward is really important. good Luck.

Okay, thank you so much for such a detailed response. I will definitely take heed to your advice. I know it's a lonely journey, I've been on it this far and I'm just tired of walking in circles. :-/

Hey, I hope it helps. For what it's worth, the fact that you can openly discuss this with your friends and are actively seeking help means you are well on your way. Many of us don't get therapy for decades, and rarely if ever share our stories. You're ahead of the game.

I hate to be devils advocate, but scatter shot the yellow pages or internet reveals these people list every specialty known to modern Freudian science.
And it never ceases to amaze me how many list themselves as 'marriage & family' specialist are divorced with children from multiple relationships.
And sadly, it cost $$ to find these things out. I once devised a 'litmus test' to cut the crap at the initial consultation.
After a few minutes of the usual personal history sniffing out to let the professional in charge get comfortable, I would calmly pose the question," just when is it ok for children to have sex ?"
God in heaven above at some of the chilling responses I got. And from even board certified professional medical personnel.

Bottom line: I'm on the lookout for people who do not advertise and claim some kind of specialty, or even have ties to psych industry. Clergy, volunteers in divinity programs; those are the ones typically with the most common sense........ and are NOT $$ motivated.

Tom S. in Tn.

@Tomsintin--Thanks for the advice. I'll keep that in mind as well. I'm in the military though, and most of the time they choose someone for you. And if I don't like that person I can just request to have them changed. I'll be on the look out though for all of the things you mentioned. Thx again :-)

I am so sorry to hear you are in the military with this situation. The base psychiatrist at Ft. Hood immediately comes to my mind and makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

How much time do you have left ?
I'd now advise to possibly wait post discharge to begin the search.
God love your heart; Tom S. in Tn.