Im going to tell the story:

I am 16. I went out with a guy who was friends with some of my friends without telling my parents, I told them I was going to the movies with some other friends. He picked me up in his car and we walked around and talked for about an hour. We went back to his car and I remember being surprised he hadn't even attempted to kiss me. I thought he was finally going to take me home but then he started to kiss me and touch me and when he asked me if I wanted to move to the backseat of his car I knew I had been wrong about him. I thought, "Okay. This is it it's going to be fast and then he'll take me home". We had oral sex and he recorded it. I let it go because I wanted it to be over. When he came i thought that was going to be it and he was done and then he would take me home, but I was wrong. He started to make out with me again and he began trying to get his hand in my shorts. He insisted on me taking my shorts off but I told him I didn't want to do it. Still, he continued to make out with me and proceeded to try to unbutton my shorts. I told him, "I'm not going to have sex with you". Yet, he kept trying to take off my shorts. I refused to have sex with him so instead, I had oral sex with him again. I didn't want to. I wanted to go home. But It was 12AM and I was scared if he got mad he would kick me out of his car and I'd be left alone with no way of getting home at 12AM or he'd leak the video he took. I let him fuck my throat again because I thought after this he'd be done and I didn't want him to keep insisting on having actual sex with me, I thought having oral sex again would fix it. He began to make out with me again after this and started violently spanking me and trying to really roughly finger me and I didn't stop him because I was scared he'd get mad and I just really wanted him to take me home. After this, he insisted on giving me head so got my shorts and underwear off and he did not give me head, he had just used it as an excuse to get me undressed. He got on top of me and attemped to have sex again and i put my hand on his hip and tried pushing him away because I didn't want to do that. He asked again why I didn't want to "smash" and I told him I didn't want to get pregant. But does it really matter why I dont want to? After my "no" multiple times it should have been enough for him to stop trying. My "no" meant "no" and he needed to listen to that "no" and stop trying to have sex with me. After this he told me he was gonna fuck my throat again then. I just wanted it to be over. I thought maybe after this he'd finally be done. At this point, it was so much I was throwing up. I couldn't hold back the vomit and I threw up and had to stop to swallow my own vomit so I could finish and we'd be done and I could go home. I threw up atleast 4 times but I just wanted him to finish and take me home so I tried. After this, he insisted on having sex again but I began telling him it was late and I had to go home. After about 10 minutes of me insisting on this, he finally took me home. It was a terrible experience that I did not enjoy at all. I remember getting home and walking to my porch and looking at my phone's front camera to see how i looked. I remember seeing how the mascara on my left eye had been all smudged from the tears that were falling from my eyes while i had oral sex with this guy out of fear, and not because I had wanted to.

How I've been affected:

I talked to some friends. I have still been really scared. I have struggled with anxiety for a really long time and I was getting worried even though we didn't have vaginal sex his cum might have gotten in my vagina since he kept trying to finger me and at some point his penis lay on top of my crotch while I was trying to push his hip away. I've let go of this thought and I think it's just me being paranoid. My throat has been sore and feeling kind of swollen for 2 days now. It was better this morning and it almost didn't hurt but it kind of got back to being kind of bad again. I think I have had PTSD since it happened and I can't stop thinking about it. I remember just swallowing my own vomit and not being able to stop because I was scared if I did, he'd continue to pressure me into having sex with him(which he did anyways) or he'd kick me out of his car or he'd leak the video of me giving him head. I feel so stupid for going out with him too and lying to my parents and I totally regret it. I have been feeling so bad but I didn't know why because it wasn't really rape right? I ended up looking it up because one of my friends insisted it had been some sort of rape because I didn't consent, and I did what I did due to fear and pressure. I found out what happened is been called "sexual coersion" and it is some sort of rape. I don't want to tell my parents or anyone about this. I just want to get through it and be fine but I had been feeling so bad which is why I decided to write about it here. I have even had gastritis symptoms and neausea from how bad this whole thing has made me feel. This happened to me once before when I was really stressed and worried and I'm pretty sure it's related to the anxiety and PTSD I'm getting from this, since the gastritis and stress and anxiety are linked. I just want to feel better and get through this. If anyone has gone through some sort of sexual abuse please tell mehow you got through it.