Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Private Investigator

Ambrosia6
Ambrosia6
Crazy thought I had today - probably wouldn't ever follow through on it - but wanted to toss it out here and see what people had to say.

I think I know who my perp was, based partly on my memory and partly on circumstances and that this guy has been accused but not convicted of this. It would have been in 88/89. He's still a minister, has switched churches & states a few times in the last twenty years(wonder why....?)

Anyway, I know I can't bring him to court for what he did to me, at least I don't think so, I don't have enough facts to know it was him.

What bothers me is, what if he's still doing it??? How could I know??? How could I stop him???

That's when I thought of a private investigator. If I had the money (big if) could I hire one to watch him and try to catch him in the act? And if the private investigator did catch him then he would be legally obligated to report it and I wouldn't even need to be a part of the process, right?

If he's not still doing it, or the private investigator can't catch him in the act, then I'll be left to wonder. Would it be worth spending the money if I end up not knowing any more than I know now? There's no way you can prove he's not doing it anymore. The only thing you can prove is that he is if you can catch him in the act.
sadave46
sadave46
The private investigator doesn't sound viable to me and would be extremely expensive. But I can understand your concern. I am assuming you didn't report him at the time? I think your worries may well be valid....most continue to offend until they are stopped. While statues of limitations may have lapsed, you can still make a report to the police and to the leaders of the church. I guarantee doing so will make you feel better and who knows may keep some other child from being victimized?
Ambrosia6
Ambrosia6
Yeah, no I didn't even tell myself at the time. I was 4. I didn't remember at all until 2 years ago. He's already had so many accusations made against him, one more wouldn't do anything. We need evidence. He even got off the hook when accused of sexually harassing adult women. I mean, he wasn't convicted of it, but he still had to leave the church cuz of the scandal. I was 6 or 7 when the church split over the issue and he left. Anyone can google his name and find the articles on him. I don't see how the church he's in now could not know about it. He's just got too much charisma, people accept and believe him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are in a tough situation. Very few child sex abusers do it to just one child. By taking some action, you will do all that you can to help some other innocent, trusting three year old.

One course of action might be to send a letter to the "Prosecuting Attorney" in what ever county he is now in. You can usually find the prosecutors name and address by googling county government in that county and state.

Tell the prosecutor what you have told us, except use his name, the name of your church and the names of the other churches where he has worked. Do not accuse the minister of anything specific that you cannot remember yourself. Don't call him an abuser, child molester or anything. Just tell the prosecutor what you think hapened to you and that since he moves around a lot, you wonder if someone might need to check up on the guy. Ask for a response in a reasonable amount of time, a month or so.

Be prepared to help the DA should she/he ask. But, many are way busy, so you may not get a timely answer. Most of these types are elected and dodn't like getting bad press. You can probably read the newspapers published in the county on line too. Check each one each day. See if they carry any stories.

If you don't get a response in the time line you have set, send a copy of your letter to the editors of the papers, TV and radio stations in that county, with a little note on its history.

Somebody may actually run a background check and get something on him that can result in a prosecution.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just by filing a complaint and having it on record means that if and when he is caught doing what he does, then you might be called to confirm that he HAS done this deed in the past and your complaint might mean the difference between him getting away with it or being nailed for what he has done. I prefer to see all perpetrators get nailed, because I really don't want to see anymore new faces here suffering through the same BS that I have had to go through. Whatever makes them have to take responsibility for their actions is a good thing, and believe me, I know how dreadfully terrible it is to come out with what was done to you, but if you can put a stop to just one... that is a heroic thing to be able to do. I hope you contact both his church and CPS, or the local equivalent of Child Protective Services, to let those who need to watch and protect the children know who they need to be protected from! That, in and of itself, is a heroic gesture and takes great courage to do.