Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Pretending it doesn't matter

Sabrina15
Sabrina15
When I first joined DS, it was for several reasons...including sexual abuse. I've dealt with the other issues, but haven't really focused on this one. Maybe subconsciously, I've tried to ignore it. It's very difficult for me to use the word "rape," instead of sexual abuse. Not sure why, but it seems more humiliating to use that particular word.

However, I've had some recent flashbacks of the abuse. I'm concerned it will prevent me from enjoying a normal and healthy relationship with someone I care about. I have trust issues resulting from domestic and sexual abuse during my past relationship. Hopefully, someday I can move forward and trust that I won't be violated again. Rape (sexual abuse) does matter, and should never be ignored.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey, I don't like that word either. It's intrusive and makes me cringe when somebody uses it, even if they use it in passing. It's difficult thing to ignore, I knwo I tried and didn't really get very far by doing it, maybe it is time you focused on it now, since all of your other things are dealt with (well done for that by the way) it's left you a clean slate now to deal with this. I understand what you mean with the trust issues, I have them but the abuser doesnt deserve to have this hold over you, they get their kicks by manipulating and making you feel worthless, so kick back and show them you havent been beaten!
Take care
x
deleted_user
deleted_user
As someone who was sexually abused as a child and is now in early 30's, I feel you. I understand what you are saying about trust issues. I deal with it on a daily basis with even my closest friends...and with my girlfriends, once they do one small thing that I do not like, I leave. This has been my struggle. I have never gotten help, and I think that is what I need. For now I am trying this, and eventually hoping to take the step to come out to a therapist at least and talk it out. I have only shared my past with 2 of my friends. I talked to them about it because I felt that they deserved to know why I was acting a certain way, they were very understanding, however, we did not talk about it again. We are still friends, yet, for me, that is not enough. I really think that I need to talk to a therapist to help me through it. Maybe this can help you, if you have not already. If so, maybe talking about it a lot with your significant other and also coming to terms with it, accepting that it happened, and learning to trust yourself to trust others...
deleted_user
deleted_user
TO: Doubtfire20111986
A therapist is a fantastic idea you know. Your friends sound good, but talking through this sort of thing once isnt enough, it might be ok to keep things at bay for a short while, but in the long term it isnt enough. I'm just starting therapy, and my therapist is fantastic. They'll help you get through it, thats their job! and you deserve to get through it, you deserve a chance at a norma relationship and to not have the trust issues anymore. You'll do it!
x
Sabrina15
Sabrina15
Hi closey, thanks for your supportive comment...it's appreciated. It's never easy overcoming sexual abuse, but it's nice that we can support each other.

Hi Doubtfire, I'm sorry for your childhood sexual abuse, it's very tragic. I feel that you should seek therapy...it's very important to vent and talk about what happened to you. Find a therapist or counselor you can trust, who will help sort out your feelings. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Sabrina