Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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possible gaps in memory

tazgore
tazgore
I was... i dont even know the right word, Abused? Raped? (forced oral sex). Anyway it happend only once. I was 6 or 7. we were out in the middle of the woods when it happend. He had gotten me lost and told me that I could not go home untill I had done certain things for him. one of those things was to swim throug this pig pond. I remeber all of this happening, but i also remember coming home dry and my cloths were not full of pig slime.
It makes me think that there is more to the story but i am unsure as to how to find out. Any thoughts?
deleted_user
deleted_user
sorry this happened. It may have been only once but there is no such thing as only once.
Once was enough to do considerable damage and has obviously cause you years of distress at least at some level.

One of the things i have learned is that the effects and affects of even a single incident of abuse can be as devastating as having happen more than once. It is like only being shot by one bullet. it may not have kill you phyically but it did damage.

It is good you are talking about it.

i have had many gaps in memory. it is very common.

good luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
Memory is such a precious tool. I feel your pain too because I have been forced to remember one single incident as a toddler. I say forced because I have never allowed my memory to be 'clouded' by negative events in my life. I have always lived on the loving and cherished memories with my family and friends but for some reason this incident kept appearing here and there in my head and I never realised how serious this flashback was until a month ago. I completely agree once is one time too many, this never should have happened and it has absolutely no right to rob us of our cherished memories. We have the choice either to keep the abuse to ourselves or expose it for what it is. I chose the latter because as I said it has no right to live inside our memories, if it ain't payin the rent then kick the damn thing out!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have very spotty memories of my childhood and of my abuse. There are therapies designed to help remember, but I am not sure how much I want to remember!

What I know, I am very sure of. I know the feelings that I was having and the smells that I smelled! .. there are just so many things that I don't have any memory of.. good and bad!

Hope and love to you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel the same as dreamer... the things I do remember are very clear and vivid,,. but there are periods of my life that I do not remember. I've heard that you only remember things that you are strong enough, or feel safe enough, to remember.. so if I don't remember everything, I'm okay with that.. I don't want to know.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Regression therapy might help. I didn't remember alot of my story too. It's very normal because we were under such stress, it was was easier for us to forget. Now it is time to clear, remember and push it out, focus on it until it doesn't hurt anymore, it will eventually feel better. Dreamer said she doesn't know how much she wants to remember, it may be to protect you from the pain, but i think we have to remember, bring it to the light, get it out of our bodies. We are storing that shit in us and it does not feel good. we need to find a peace.