I really feel for you. I have witnessed the SA affect on others and myself so I know you must be heartbroken. You can support your children as much as you can forever and always. Be there for them and yourself. Get counseling help for them and you. That is all I can say. I am no expert. Just a witness to what happens when the abuse is ignored and suppressed. So now that it not a secret, that really helps. Please talk about it to someone.

this is hard to answer, as i have never been in your shoes from being teh mother of the abuser...my kids are little....but i was abused by my father...his family no longer talks to me but talks to him in prison. i have tot ell you i feel BEYOND betrayed that they care about him and not me. not one of them have asked me how i was doing, or tried to make an effort to be in my life. but continue to support him by remaining in his. (this is now ten years of talking and him being in prison)....i cannot imagine having an abuser in my family, even if it was my child. i cannot support that, but having said that who knows how to handle anything unless they are in the situation.
i do agree with timetraveler....counseling is a must for all involved. i am so sorry you are in the middle of all of this. the younger children need you more, thsoe who were abused....
i wish i knew more what to do. but i wanted to share what it was like to have my fathers family care for them and not me...i think you are on the right path by asking for help and what to do.
hugs
tiffani

I cant believe it i am in the same situation i do not want to open this up here but if you'd like contact me

Samantha

I'm very sorry that you've found yourself in this situation and I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Just know that counseling (for each child) should be seriously considered. This situation is going to take a great deal of time and understanding. I wish you the best of luck and I wish I could help you more. Love & Hugs

Thank you momof3indiapers. I am sorry you are going thru the same hell I am. I would love to Talk. I feel alone and like no one understands how it feels to be parent of both abused and victims.

Thanks wallbrownF. We did go thru counseling and trust was broken so we now go thru our church for counseling and it is greatly helping. We are healing. My son is in prison and I love him as my son but hate the evil he has done.

You're very welcome. Unfortunately, those who commit the evils of this forum are mostly thought of as purely evil. But, life isn't that easy and they are probably in need of help themselves (whether or not they'd like to admit it or not). Is your son seeking help?

Tmommyo6 i would be very glad to speak with you in privet please PM me Thank you Dear

Love Samantha

WallbrownF, he is in prison sentences to 15yrs but up for parole in 5yrs. I pray he changes but have doubts.

But, do you know if he is seeking help for his problem?

He is in a prison with just sex offenders. They are required to take classes and groups. But you have to be in a certain level and he can't stay out of the hole long enough to get to that level. To answer your question, in my opinion I believe he is playing the game while doing his time. I think that's what hurts me the most.

I very sorry to hear that. I hope for you (and the world) that he has an epiphany and finds the light in the darkness.

Im in the exact same boat. My sons abused my daughter. Please anyone whos in this boat can we talk?! I really love my sons but I really feel like I cant support them thru this!!!