No more shame. Though I've experienced the more well-known types of SA, I always wonder about what life must be like for victims who fall outside the more known categories. I always suspected it was harder for you guys - dealing with people asking 'are you sure you didn't really want it?' and such. Male victims too, or victims of women. My prayers are with all of you. We all have difficult journeys ahead of us. Sabrina, no more shame. You deserve to heal and speak out about what happened to you without shame. I'm so happy for you that you've taken this huge step!

I was married for about 6 years when my husband decided to let me know there was no such thing as marital rape, i was 22. He was physically abusive so this didnt really shock me much. He did some pretty horrific things to me, then he would laugh in my face and say there is no such thing as marital rape bitch! Well THERE IS!!!!! NO one has the right to do something no matter who they are! I was raped at 13 prior to getting married so between getting beat and my prior rape i really didnt think there was anything i could do, But please know, no one and i do mean no one has the right to do anything to you, that you dont want done no matter what! Please get out while you can, get help, do something, tell some one! I wish you all the luck, and there are so many resources out there to help. Take advantage of them. My best to you. =)

I'm glad you found the voice to speak out.

The statistics on this sort of thing are appalling and inexcusable. A Canadian sudy (Randall and Haskell 1995) found that 30% of
women who were sexually assaulted as adults were assaulted by their intimate partners. A similar study in the USA (Mahoney, Williams & West, 2001) put the number at over 7 million.

One is a tragedy; seven million is an abomination.

Fortunately, there is progress. In all 50 states and in all canadian provinces, "marital rape" is now a crime.

But there's still work to be done and still many attitudes to change, and every voice that speaks out is a blow against evil. Remember what political philosopher Edmund Burke once said: "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing".

congratulations on being able to put aside the feelings of shame. It seems like that feeling is almost universal. I know that I felt it quite strongly, especialy as a male victim. Keep speaking out, and dont let anybody tell you that it was your fault (not even yourself).

Thanks to all who responded to my discussion!

I really appreciate the feedback. :)

I almost dated a guy (who is abusive) in Gr.9. I am glad I relized what an idiot and abusive person he was before I actually asked him out. I still go into the same highschool as him though and try not to remember the things I liked about him when I am reminded of him.

I eventually told a counselor at school and my Mom two years later.

Sexual Assault is when a person does not consent to any sexual touching and talking, etc wether their abuser is their husband, boyfriend, coach, or parent, or whoever else-it is still sexual assault!

I don't know if they talked to him and punished him or not b/c it was years later after the incident(he had purposely brushed his arm against my breast). I just hope he relizes what wrong behavoirs he has done and fixes them in the future. I avoid him b/c I am afraid that I will lose my resolve around him and blame myself for things that weren't my fault.

Hello Shamrock, I'm glad you told the school counselor and your mom about him. Men who sexually assault women only get away with it if nobody speaks up.

I bet your mom is really proud of you! :)