Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hey everyone, I've been around on this forum for a while now, reading peoples stories, the comments, and I think it's time I introduced myself and told my own story.
The names Alex, male, 17 years old and the victim of 6 years of sexual abuse, but a lifetime victim of neglect.
My mum was a drug taker and a prostitute, I say was because (she committed suicide back in April) she was heavily addicted to heroin, she would do anything to get fix, literally. Every night she was on the streets sleeping with men for money to pay for her addiction. Myself, I was left at home alone. I always remember being so hungry and scrounging in bins to find food. I remember her injecting into her groin right in front of me. I remember the constant beatings. I remember the first time one of her drug dealers sexually abused me with her permission just so she could score free drugs. The first time turned into many, this man sexually abused me for 6 years, ages 8 - 14. I was also handed around to other child molesters, I remember getting raped by 4 different men in one night at the age of 11.
After 6 years of abuse I decided to run away from home at 14, I become homeless for almost a year until the police caught up with me and I was put into care. I was a "damaged" child, no one understood me or tried to.
I'm here now at 17 absolutely broken, depressed, and feeling hopeless. I can't close my eyes without a flashback popping into my head. I can't function like a normal person, I also suffer with bulimia. Life is pretty damn shit, and I don't even know if it will get better.
Me done breifly, thank you!
The names Alex, male, 17 years old and the victim of 6 years of sexual abuse, but a lifetime victim of neglect.
My mum was a drug taker and a prostitute, I say was because (she committed suicide back in April) she was heavily addicted to heroin, she would do anything to get fix, literally. Every night she was on the streets sleeping with men for money to pay for her addiction. Myself, I was left at home alone. I always remember being so hungry and scrounging in bins to find food. I remember her injecting into her groin right in front of me. I remember the constant beatings. I remember the first time one of her drug dealers sexually abused me with her permission just so she could score free drugs. The first time turned into many, this man sexually abused me for 6 years, ages 8 - 14. I was also handed around to other child molesters, I remember getting raped by 4 different men in one night at the age of 11.
After 6 years of abuse I decided to run away from home at 14, I become homeless for almost a year until the police caught up with me and I was put into care. I was a "damaged" child, no one understood me or tried to.
I'm here now at 17 absolutely broken, depressed, and feeling hopeless. I can't close my eyes without a flashback popping into my head. I can't function like a normal person, I also suffer with bulimia. Life is pretty damn shit, and I don't even know if it will get better.
Me done breifly, thank you!
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
Flashbacks can be so difficult to deal with and I'm very sorry you are experiencing them. Is there someone you trust who you can talk to about all that has happened? Do you have anyone in your life who you trust right now? Talking about what happened and allowing yourself to feel all the feelings will help end the flashbacks but you need to have someone you trust to talk to. I would recommend a therapist but given your age and possible surroundings I am not sure if that is an option for you. Are you still in school? Is there a counselor at your school you can talk to?
If you have no one to talk to then please keep talking to us here. There are so many caring and understanding people here who understand what you are going through. Hopefully we can help you feel less alone in all of this and can help you understand that life CAN get better after all you have been through.
Take care
It is important to understand that this kind of trauma can cause problems like depression and anxiety. Maybe you live in a more urban area where there are support groups for other kids who have been abused.
To share your story. Glad to meet you and I pray this will
Be your first step into healing. Welcome to the group.