Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I have never talked about what happened to me and I am scared to talk about it. I just turned 19 and i know this was a while ago but all the memories that I have buried for so long keep coming back and I hate having the images and memories. I have not talked about this to anyone since it happened.I just dont know what to do. I cant talk to my parents and I dont even know where to start its such a hard convosation to have even at this age. I have the fear that when I tell my BFF or boyfriend how they will react and leave me. It seems easier to just keep it a secret but yet suffering is no fun either. Im stuck and dont know where to turn.
I was ause by my cousin when i was five and it went on for a few years til they moved out that was 9 or 10 years ago. i didnt start getting the flashback memories till the end of my sophmore year of high school when a guy who i thought was a good friend, cornerd me up against a wall and started kissing me and then he touched me. he fored his hands in my pants and and then he would push himself against me. Although he didnt rape me he still made me feel dirty and stupid. i couldnt believe this was one of my friends doing this too me. thats when the memories from when i was younger started coming back.
sorry this was such a long post,
I was ause by my cousin when i was five and it went on for a few years til they moved out that was 9 or 10 years ago. i didnt start getting the flashback memories till the end of my sophmore year of high school when a guy who i thought was a good friend, cornerd me up against a wall and started kissing me and then he touched me. he fored his hands in my pants and and then he would push himself against me. Although he didnt rape me he still made me feel dirty and stupid. i couldnt believe this was one of my friends doing this too me. thats when the memories from when i was younger started coming back.
sorry this was such a long post,
What you are experiencing is fairly typical of abuse survivors. You need not feel strange, weird, or broken. Pretty much we all go through this. It's a sad club to join, but it is not small. The statistics are that 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused and about 1 in 5 boys. So, there are lots of people walking around with this in their psyches.
The good news is that it is possible to heal from this and to move on with your life. This doesn't mean forgetting; it means understanding.
When this happens to you as a child, the major parts of your brain that might be able to deal with it aren't even turned on yet. More primitive brain functions have to deal with it and it leaves us all in a couple of states.
For one thing, we mostly have self esteem problems. We somehow think this is our fault, which is not true, or we think we deserved it (also not true). Some people go wild over sex, but often choose bad partners. Some avoid sex altogether. Flashbacks happen and are usually vague and incomplete since the brain we are trying to remember with today is different than the one that stored these memories.
You have taken a brave step in coming here. Most often, people don't deal with this for decades. It is good you are here; you are welcome here. The journey of healing you are on is not trivial, but it can be accomplished. Always remember that this was not your fault, that you can deal with the downstream effects, and that you are worthy of great happiness and love.
For a long time, I couldn't even bear to think of others out there, because it was SO devastating that i'd been raped as a child. I couldn't deal with it happening to anyone else.
All your feelings are important and valid.
AS for what happened in your sophomore year at high school, I'm afraid that was sexual assault also.
I hope you can find yourself some good support, and stay safe, and be gentle with yourself.