i’m so sorry that is so so so much to deal with.

sending gentle hugs ((((sharyn))))

here if you need anything xxx

I am also extremely sorry for all you've been through and are coping with. Please consider getting support through therapy or counseling. Not only will it help you, it will set an example that your daughter may one day follow. When she sees you getting help and growing in new ways it may eventyally inspire her to do the same - but even if that doesn't happen, there is no downside to it.

As for your daughter being close to people who deny she was abused, that might be more comfortable for her right now. If you always see her as that victim, its understandable she might want to be with people who don't see her that way.

Thank you for the advice, I am in therapy, I think everyone should be in therapy! Lol Seriously, I advocate going to therapy because the skills learned previously might no longer apply. As for my daughter, she isn't aware that the ones she's bonded with believe it never happened. As for treating her as a victim, I don't. Never have. In fact we haven't talked about what happened to her since she attempted to kill herself when she was a young teen. She had started cutting herself and hiding it from me. Her brother, my son was home with her when she took a butcher knife to her throat. He called me immediately and I took her to the hospital. On the way there she was like a caged animal in the back of the Jeep. As we pulled into the parking lot she told me for over a year she had been having nightmares about what was done to her but she asked me if she had been raped as a toddler. I said yes, baby. That's why we were in therapy for years. She calmed down and said to me "mommy I'm not crazy?" I told her of course she wasn't. She was relived that I was honest about it, I have not ever been embarrassed by what happened, I have always told both my children that they are survivors. Obviously we went back to therapy for another year after that incident. But that was almost a decade ago and since then we have not talked about it in detail. However I have given her the information that CV of NY state provides us with a lifetime of medical bills paid for concerning what happened, I have encouraged her to go to therapy numerous times but she is reluctant and says she doesn't have time. But, the last time I saw her she did acknowledge that I worked 2-3 jobs was a single mom and we went to therapy separately and together every week no matter what. I wish she would open up to me. I have saved all the documents into the investigation etc... In fact she doesn't know that the first forensic examine she rammed her head into the wall screaming she didn't want to be "Sarah" anymore. We rescheduled for my baby to be sedated and when they were ready to do the exam they said I could leave. I didn't, I held her tiny hand and told them when she grows up and asks me about this I can look her in the eyes and tell her I never left her side. Obviously I didn't watch what they were doing. But I never left her alone. It's not as if I want to tell her any of this, but it was something I did do for her.

Thank you for explaining all that. My heart truly goes out to you both. I hope that your daughter finds healing. I will say a prayer for you both.

Thank you❤ I try to take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour and on really bad days second by second