Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Sharyn 04/26/2021

My daughter was molested repeatedly when she was3 years old. She will be26 this year and though we spent several years in therapy and was told that it would be a lifetime experience and milestones would trigger the abuse she suffered... PTSD I guess, she is struggling with it as well as the sudden death of her dad, brother (my son) and her Papa (my dad) in less than18 months. I as well am suffering and attempting to wrap my head around the fact that the3 men I loved the most in this world are gone. She has alienated me from her and my grandchildren. She however is close to my in-laws whom have never believed she was abused to begin with. I visited her on the one year anniversary of my son passing (Thanksgiving 2019) I am so worried about her this past Thanksgiving was the first time in 2 years I had seen her... What I saw was not easy to witness. She doesn't eat, under100 lbs, doesn't sleep, works2 jobs though she doesn't have to. Its as if she is on autopilot and severely depressed. Doesn't help that her husband left her after my dad passed away because she cried all the time She looks as if she slowed down she would have a nervous breakdown. But she won't go to therapy. After returning from visiting her she called me once2 weeks before Christmas. I have not heard from her since she called me late in the evening on Christmas and I didn't answer. I feel so hopeless and angry that23 years ago our lives changed and that no matter what it will continue to affect our lives forever.

Stitch06 04/26/2021

i’m so sorry that is so so so much to deal with.

sending gentle hugs ((((sharyn))))

here if you need anything xxx

donnawanda 04/26/2021

I am also extremely sorry for all you've been through and are coping with. Please consider getting support through therapy or counseling. Not only will it help you, it will set an example that your daughter may one day follow. When she sees you getting help and growing in new ways it may eventyally inspire her to do the same - but even if that doesn't happen, there is no downside to it.

As for your daughter being close to people who deny she was abused, that might be more comfortable for her right now. If you always see her as that victim, its understandable she might want to be with people who don't see her that way.

Sharyn 04/27/2021

Thank you for the advice, I am in therapy, I think everyone should be in therapy! Lol Seriously, I advocate going to therapy because the skills learned previously might no longer apply. As for my daughter, she isn't aware that the ones she's bonded with believe it never happened. As for treating her as a victim, I don't. Never have. In fact we haven't talked about what happened to her since she attempted to kill herself when she was a young teen. She had started cutting herself and hiding it from me. Her brother, my son was home with her when she took a butcher knife to her throat. He called me immediately and I took her to the hospital. On the way there she was like a caged animal in the back of the Jeep. As we pulled into the parking lot she told me for over a year she had been having nightmares about what was done to her but she asked me if she had been raped as a toddler. I said yes, baby. That's why we were in therapy for years. She calmed down and said to me "mommy I'm not crazy?" I told her of course she wasn't. She was relived that I was honest about it, I have not ever been embarrassed by what happened, I have always told both my children that they are survivors. Obviously we went back to therapy for another year after that incident. But that was almost a decade ago and since then we have not talked about it in detail. However I have given her the information that CV of NY state provides us with a lifetime of medical bills paid for concerning what happened, I have encouraged her to go to therapy numerous times but she is reluctant and says she doesn't have time. But, the last time I saw her she did acknowledge that I worked 2-3 jobs was a single mom and we went to therapy separately and together every week no matter what. I wish she would open up to me. I have saved all the documents into the investigation etc... In fact she doesn't know that the first forensic examine she rammed her head into the wall screaming she didn't want to be "Sarah" anymore. We rescheduled for my baby to be sedated and when they were ready to do the exam they said I could leave. I didn't, I held her tiny hand and told them when she grows up and asks me about this I can look her in the eyes and tell her I never left her side. Obviously I didn't watch what they were doing. But I never left her alone. It's not as if I want to tell her any of this, but it was something I did do for her.

donnawanda 04/27/2021

Thank you for explaining all that. My heart truly goes out to you both. I hope that your daughter finds healing. I will say a prayer for you both.

Sharyn 04/28/2021

Thank you❤ I try to take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour and on really bad days second by second

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