I Remember

I remember that long run

that I thought would be fun

not knowing what would happen

would leave no one laughing

I was walking home

all alone

when I took a shortcut through the woods

I thought I heard

a man, an animal, a beast in the night

well, I was right

I seen this hand go over my face

and my dress that was lace

being ripped and myself being gripped

so harshly, all full of fear

I had millions of tears

crying with fright

screaming, seeing less and less light

I feel his breath on my neck

and him stopping for a sec

I can't see his face but smell his breath

and the taste of his salty sweat

thinking this is someone I met

feeling him touch me

not wanting to be able to see

this man hurting me

I feel my dress being torn, my heart pounding

knowing that no one can hear my sounds

my screaming, yelling for a real mommy

wishing I had someone to take me away

like my big brother Sammy

I feel him go inside me

my hands and legs being tied to a tree

my body being hit

like this is a madman in a fit

I feel my body being bruised

cut, burned, and slashed

my face being buried

and my back being lashed

I fall to the ground

hearing his laughing

and his moans of prospering sounds

I cry and lay in the woods

hearing nothing, but the sounds

of rocks and dirt

hitting me and making it hurt

being lifted and carried

I'm being buried

thrown in the hole

feeling my body leaving

along with my soul

now I'm laying in my own blood, and tears

thinking that all I can say

is THIS was my biggest fear

I'm dying and laying

Wishing I had a family or a real mommy to be here

to kiss my head or run their fingers through my hair

telling me things are going to be alright

and I'm putting up a good fight

now I lay in the darkened cold

knowing I'm going to heaven

because that bad man took something,

I know I have, a soul that I know he stole

so now I'm gone

still walking these woods

waiting for someone to come and find me

or maybe that the person that did this

would turn their selves in

so now part of me is gone

up in heaven, with other kids

and knowing that what this bad man did

that ONLY time can mend

that the fact is, is that I'm 14

and last night someone raped and murdered me

By Me I felt I lost my inner child the night I was raped walking home from a middle school 8th-grade dance this poem is all true what happened that night I wish someone would of held me let me cry 

Written May 31 2000