Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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My emotions are tearing me apart

hopeless99
hopeless99

I don't know what I'm doing anymore! Some days I feel fine, and other days I feel like I am confined. No matter what I try my past is always hanging over me and I just can't escape it. I feel like I'm drowning. I'm tired of holding on to all this pain, but I don't know how to let it go. I feel broken, like something is wrong with me. It's been a few years since anything had happened, why can't I move on? Why do I force myself to hold on to all my pain? Why can't I stop beating myself up about all the things I should've done? Over and over in my head that voice says you should've fought back, or you should've screamed, or you should've known better than to trust him. All these thoughts make me want to scream and cry, but I don't want my family to worry about me so I smile and tell them I'm fine as I slowly decay inside. My emotions are tearing me apart and shattering my heart.

lovelilbeany
lovelilbeany
I can relate to all that u have said. Ur not alone.
donnawanda
donnawanda
I think there are good answers to all the things your mind tells you, and if you talk about these things with your counselor you may find some of those answers. Otherwise you can talk about it on here.

It's not your fault you can't just let go or get over it. Lots of us are in our 40s and 50s and are still working on our healing. But you can get much, much, much better and still have a rich and rewarding life.

Please think about talking about these issues with your counselor or therapist, and also posting about them here so we can all discuss.
clsdff01
clsdff01
Your family wants you to be happy and to thrive. It is okay to let them know that you are not fine.
Kate1976
Kate1976
You are definitely not alone and I understand your frustrations! I have found recognizing my triggers is helping. They send my emotions all over the place. Very frustrating when I am happy and it hits. If you are in counseling, it can help you work through it, especially handling the emotional triggers. Hugs to you.
Hope719
Hope719
Thank you for sharing. I understand those feelings of guilt. You are not alone. I was abused as a very young child, and I still feel guilty. You are not at fault for anything that was done to you. Sending you hugs and hopes for healing.
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