Do your best and try to convince her to talk. It's really hard but don't give up. Even if she doesn't say anything to them, if you know that he has hurt her or is hurting her I'm pretty sure that they should do something about it. They have to at least look into it. I'm sorry about this :(. Make sure she gets into counseling as well, if not now when she is older. Sexual abuse, especially from a parent, is very psychologically damaging. I wish you the best.

i was faced with almost same thing my son was malested by my male cousin and he told me in detail what happen i recored what i could and they sent us to a center to do a recorded interview but he wouldnt talk to the people there and now we had to walk away and they did nothing to the person my son was 2 at the time and there is no way that a 2 yr old knew what he told us about sexual stuff the detail he gave us was so crazy but he was to young to talk an they told us well he wont remember i was so upset i will pray for u and the baby

See if they will go for the following:

Get the advocacy center to type out a list of interview questions.

You ask them for use of a room with a one-way mirror, with the standard setup: a camera and audio recording device.
When I was a child I had therapy sessions in such a room a few times.
After letting her relax for a bit and play with various toys, ask her those questions.
I strongly suspect they have such a room.
They probably also have anatomically correct dolls, which you also might ask to use.
Perhaps just letting her play with them, again under camera.

I want to affirm how wonderful it is you are seeking to do the right thing by your daughter in this situation. It's true that if your daughter doesn't give enough information to go by during the forensic interview there probably won't be much chance of convicting her father in a court of law. However, try not to get too hung up on that "justice" piece of things. The bottom line is, the damage has been done. Your daughter needs your love, belief, and support. She needs to know that you will keep her safe from her father as best as you can. And definitely bring her to regular counseling with a specialist. Even if she can't talk about it at first, it will benefit her in the long run. Best of luck to you and and your family!

Thank you to all of you....Reply 3 that is a great suggestion! What is she doesn't say anything....man that would be a risk. I filed an application at the non profit legal aid that did my first custody hearing. The object is to get visitation reduced to supervised untill she is old enough to understand based on two inconclusive investigations within three years. I've talked to several lawyers in the past week. Apparently allot of women falsely accuse men of this...I hope who ever decided it was false knew what they were talking about. If the child does not reveal details in the initial forensic interview than the parent has nothing. The problem with this is that there are no exceptions for infants and toddlers and preschoolers. I am so tempted to start a movement nation wide. I can't imagine all the children that are hurt because predictors can hide in this.

Right now I am in contempt of court because I'm denying visitation. He has not asked to see her, and when he did back in January I told him to make arrangements to have supervised visitation. He could take me to court when they close the investigation and win full custody because the investigations would be excluded from the hearing. Ya you read that right. He could win custody...that easy. Someone at the national organization victim advocates told me that men actually do this on purpose to get access. That's right he could be framing me.

I'm a fucking wreck!!!!! No wait I'm not a wreck! I'm collected and in control...I'm going to fight this to the bitter end to protect Rea. I very seriously may need to send her to visit family when the investigation closes. Cps is closing there's soon but I have not heard back from the supervisor at the crime against children unit. It's an unGodly shame that their hands are tied.

I intend to do everything I can to protect her. There is nothing that I can go through that would be worse than risking her being damaged by him.

I've been told not to talk to her about it....This is starting to drive me nuts. They say that it could be view as coaching her or leading her. Why in the world is she supposed to talk about it if noone tells her it's okay to talk about it?????????? The first time she talked about it Mommy took her to the dr where she was violated again and now she doesn't see daddy any more!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't talk about it either. I REALLY NEED ADVISE ON THIS!!!

I have a recording of her telling me the morning after she woke up and told me...I asked her if she remembered what she told me and she repeated it. They won't even listen to it. I have recordings of conversations with her father where he says that infants can be annualized. WTF why would a person even say that....or think it....or know it!!!!!that was 3 years ago and it was the moment that I became suspicious.

she is in counseling and doing very well...bed wetting and day wetting has stopped, so have the frantic angry tantrums...they tore my heart out....the clingyness, nightmares sobbing, whimpering.....it has all passed. For the most part anyway.


I'm grateful that she told me and that I can spare her a childhood filled with abuse. I wonder if she will hate me for not having a daddy...she misses him. She asked me if he was going to go to jail, if he's a bad person. I told her that he is not bad, that he needs to learn how to love people the right way.

well, even if she misses her daddy, im sure she would rather not be hurt. you could try to arange a phone call for her to her dad, but inform him that it will be recorded. tell him that at this moment that is the best you can do, because you must protect your child. i know you cant talk to her about it, but you can ask her how she feels about daddy, what she would like to do. tell her that no matter what you love her and always will and so will her daddy. make her feel safe to talk about it with ppl that will help. and i do know some women who have made false claims like that and it is wrong. not only are you lieing to the court, you are messing up your kids mind. it is just wrong. but as long as you stay calm and make the statment, "This is what she had said to me. What kind of mother would i be if i ignored it? i had to protect her." as long as you stick to the truth (which might involve a lie detecter test) they will try to help you. but the system is messed up, and it might be hard. but don't give up. whenever you are feeling weak and unheard, just remind yourself that if you don't protect her, then who will? you and your child are both in my prayers and i hope that this will be resolved with least harm to your child.

My only three thoughts I have to add are 1) that she knows and is reassured that you BELIEVE her. No matter what happens you are in her corner. It will also give her what it takes to not shut down. People (mom) are believing her.
2) Children at that age do not have the capacity to lie about something like that. They are not old enough to know about sex. Remembering the details of something like that (to get back at ex) is very much not likely.
3) counceling counceling counceling. Please do not wait until the experience has a chance to bury itself in her mind. Do not wait until she has undeniable symptoms.

good luck,

The support groups such as SIA do not require you yourself to be a survivor. Anyone who loves a survivor can attend and fully participate. If you have something like it, I strongly encourage you to check it out.