Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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My brother bribed me when i was eight

lovebug26
lovebug26

My brother offered me money, games and candy if I showed him my vigina and allowed him to touch when i was 8 and he was 12. A part of me knew it was wrong but...he was my oldest brother...I looked up to him and trusted in him. He told me all the girls do it and its normal to be curious. Thats what family does. My youngest brother came downstairs and yelled inscest, inscest,inscest and ran up stairs to get my parents. He was only 6.. Anyways, ive done alot of self therapy and have come a long way. I've forgiven my brother and we see each other briefly once a year. My biggest struggle is that my entire family has turned on me. I made some heavy choices as a teeneager. I pretty much got pimped out by my "best" friend and all my secrets were told to..well, quite litterally, everybody. She and my Boyfriend were the only ones I ever told about my brother.  Soon my bf became abusive and after leaving him..he too spead all my secrets too.  He promised to ruin my life if I left him. SO, my brothers reputation and mine was shot bc of them. We were acused of being inscet and bf/gf...Years later at my mothers funeral..my ex  "best friend" showed up and I told her I lied about everything for attention...knowing shed spread the news like a wild fire. Ive never told anyone about that. But now I feel so alone. All my family and old friends hate my guts. But my brother is happy and married with everyones support. He was sick for what he did but it only happened once. I love my brother and wanted him to be happy but I just dont know what to do for myself...i feel so alone and hated.

LuckyEmpath
LuckyEmpath
I am so sorry this is happening to you. You are not to blame for what your brother did to you. He was 12 and knew very well what he was doing was wrong.

Denial by family is unfortunately very common when the truth is finally told. Too often the survivor is blamed and the abuser looks innocent. It's sickening how often it happens and I am so sorry it has happened to you.

My suggestion would be for you to start working with a therapist if you are not already. A good therapist will support you and help you see that you are not to blame. You can heal from what happened and you deserve to heal. ((Hugs))
2magicman
2magicman
No your not the blame for what happen. He knew all to well what he was doing was wrong. Sorry this happend to you. But it is important that you seek counseling.

Scott
momof3kings
momof3kings
Hello! I am sorry you feel alone and hated. Perhaps you can join another support group (in addition to this one) in which the focus is incest. Go to your local library and check out books on this topic. (I am definitely a "books are friends" kinda girl ;) ). Keep in mind, reads like these aren't light reading so do this when you are ready. Perhaps you can start journaling as well as an effort to keep track of your feelings and your growth in that aspect. Sending you love and light from California.
lovebug26
lovebug26
Thanks guys for the responses. Is there a certain type of therapist I should see? Last time (well and first) the lady pretty much told me to get over it. It pretty much ruined my taste for seeking help through professionals.
Also, I know it's not my fault..I stopped blaming my self years ago. Thank you though for the supportiveness. However, I can't accept how all my family hates me now. I just dont know how to accept that. My daughter is 7 and has never had a relationship with any of my family members bc we are pretty much discluded from the family. When we do show up they have an underlining tone and attitude.
donnawanda
donnawanda
I'm sorry your one experience with a therapist was so rotten. I found a therapist to deal with incest in my past by contacting RAINN.org. Since then I've been through three. With the first and second one, I had disagreements about certain things and would have been happy to work through them with the therapist, but the therapist could not or would not understand and accept where I was coming from. Now I am very happy with the third therapist. It's not fun looking for a new therapist, but there are good ones out there and you should keep looking until you find one who makes you feel understood, accepted and supported.

I feel really angry and hurt that your family is treating you like this. Is it because you have undermined the family image (even though it wasn't you who did it, it was your brother!) so you are to be punished? That is so cruel and unfair. It's a shame when family puts image before love, but they do, as if their survival depended on it.
lovebug26
lovebug26
donnawanda,

Thanks for taking time tor read and give advice.

Your story gives me hope that there's good therapist out there.. Wish me luck on my journey of finding one.

I will never understand my family. Especially my parents. There is a whole set of issues that just compound things. It's caused so much self doubt and aniexty in my life. I try so hard to be normal
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