Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
how do you make youself believe it wasn't your fault. people keep tellign me it and i just don't believe them i really don't. there's not one ounce in my body that believe it's wasn't my fault. and it hurt's my heart not to believe it. i want to believe it sooo bad but my mind isn't letting me. it keeps beringing me back to times during the abuse and it's being like see it was ur fault and i just keep kit picking everything out and being like there you could have tryed and stoped it or there you just layed there. or why didnt your scream? why did you go to him sometimes? why did you allow him? why did you give into him? idk why i gave into him. i hate myself for beign so stupid! he would bribe me with stuff animals, or cd's to do thing's with him. how could i sell my self? see, how can i not blame myself. i know you guy's are going to say i was younger and he took advantage of me and yada yada yada and i want to believe that because i know it's true but i can't. all thoes question's pop up and i have no good answer as to why i did them. no answer that will make me feel like i didn't deserve what happend to me.
knowing,...it's not on my computer, and i didn't write it down on paper...and i locked it down here....seems safer?
safe to write everything i need to, with out anyone reading it.
i an't say i don't feel guilt....but it helped me some.
i'm so sorry your having touble with this =/
For me it changed first by accepting the fact that it wasn't my fault. There is plenty of facts to support that.
but the emotional thinking as i call really takes time to reprogram. Yes I did say reprogram. I truely believe that we are programed from the abuse and changing that takes time and a healing process.
I used the talk back method to change my thinking and emotional responces.
Each time i would be triggered to feel i was at fault, i would start a process of reasoning with myself.
"yes i feel this way but what I am feeling is not the truth. I feel this way becasue it is what the abuse did not what i did. I don't need to feel this way becasue...
I was taught this by a counselor and has worked very well for me. The key to making it work is to do it every time you are triggered and keep doing it until the feelings pass.
it is work and it does work.
hope this is helpful.
I agree with indoe to. When I started this process i started writing and have not stop since.