Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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WhatLife 05/14/2010

I am going to my grandma's house where my aunt, who never married, lives. My aunt sexually abused me when I was 10-11 years old. The other day I had a flashback to the time when she abused me and it reminded me of two other situations when I was sexually abused. The problem is that I have lunch every week at my grandma's and now I am realizing that possibly everytime I went there I was subconsciously triggered and I didn't know of it. I am taking now Seroquel 250 mg and maybe this is why my brain is calm enough to interrupt these thoughts and able to analyze them. I had a lot of sweating spells everytime I thought of it.

To counter this visit I asked my cousins to get their dog to my grandma's house so I will play with her and take my mind off of the period when I was sexually abused by her.

This is however only for this week. How am I going to counter the subsequent weeks?

Wish me luck for this week!

deleted_user 05/14/2010

wish i had advice that might help...i can only wish you luck and hope you find strength and wisdom through this...

tyzz27 05/14/2010

While you have made a good start in suggesting that the dog is there so you can have somehting to do perhaps for yor own sanity you need to catch up with your grandma at a place that is nuetral. perhaps you could get away with it by saying that you dont feel comfortable always going there for lunch and that perhaps a treat for both of you might be going fo a coffee. Even MacDonalds is ok and not too expensive. If you do have to go there maybe you need to let her know you can only go there for an hr or so.

deleted_user 05/14/2010

I agree. Try to spend time with your grandmother somewhere other than her home. Good luck, I hope things get better for you. *hugs*

deleted_user 05/14/2010

Have you told anyone what your aunt has done to you, there is a chance she has done this to your cousins also, maybe if you open up the others will also. Asking for the dog to be there is a good idea, maybe you can think of other things to do to keep you mind occupied while you are there.

deleted_user 05/14/2010

Whatlife:

I understand what you are going through--it would also make my hair stand up on end if I ever has to have lunch with my sbuser!!! I sincerely hope that you can work this out, because I recently lost my last living Grandparent, and it is a precious thing to have a relationship with your Grandparents-(I know some people that never even knew thier grandparents!!). My prayers will be with you as you try to sort this out!!

Tom B. aka Ihman

WhatLife 05/14/2010

Thanks everyone for the advice. Three years ago I told my aunt about the abuse and I believe that she got the message. I did that primarily because I was worried that she would do the same thing to my cousin who is now the same age as me when I was abused. Of course I could never know for sure if she abused him or not but hopefully the my talk to her detered her from doing things.

I am very worried that I would fracture the family if I told someone about the abuse. She has had a horrible life and was treated very badly when she was younger. I believe it is due to mishandling of a learning disablity that she had and I believe that her self-esteem was destroyed because of it. I don't know what to do.

tyzz27 05/15/2010

Ultimately no matter how we are treated in childhood or through life we have to take responsibility for those actions we do which we know are wrong.

Without a doubt there is major fear to contend with in telling the family another family member abused us. I think we have to take into consideration what the possible reaction might be of the family.

It took me until 2 yrs ago, 27 yrs after my older step brother by 7yrs/7days did to me. My parents partially knew as they caught him on one occasion and sent him off to a shrink. However, my mother did not know how long it went on for. Without my knowledge my mother approached him about it several months ago and he apologised.

Perhaps its a matter of telling someone who will have a nuetral reaction to the news so they can be supportive.

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