Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
my mom just told me it wasnt, that someone told her it wasnt. she said it was just touching, but im pretty sure thats sexual abuse condiering that he was touching me in my provate area which is very sexual and my boobs and doing things close to sex...but then again she doesnt know what he did to me, she only thinks he touched me on my boobs and crotch...so i dont blame her
Peace and Blessings...
"Sexual abuse is a general term for any type of sexual activity inflicted on a child by someone with whom the child is acquainted. It is considered an especially heinous crime because the abuser occupies a position of trust"
Also
"molestation; the crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of pornographic pictures, rape, inducement of sexual acts with the molester or with other children, and variations of these acts by pedophiles. Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member."
What you experienced was definitely sexual abuse. It sounds like your mom is trying to minimize your feelings a lot. Could she be trying to protect your abuser? This happens more often that I'd like to think. The parent protecting the abuser rather than protecting the child.
Please give some thought to talking to someone else besides your mother about this. A school counselor?
It is sexual abuse.
So sorry she is in such denial. Sounds like someone who will not be good for your healing. To minimize your pain is so sad, because she can't handle what you are going thru. Please know that this is a safe place to express those feelings, and that no one would even think, here, that what happened to you was "not that bad." I have found I cannot be around anyone who minimizes the sexual abuse I suffered.
Morally, yes, it's abuse, no question about it.
Legally, though, the law in some states leaves a lot to be desired and is full of loopholes. In a lot of states, touching is a crime only if it is done "for the purpose of sexual arousal" which is how a lot of abusers weasel out of it - they'll say, "oh, it was an accident" or "Oh, I really didn't mean anything sexual by it".
That was how my stepmom operated. Like the time we were in a swiing pool and she "accidentally" falls against me and just happens to "accidentally" stick her hand down the front of my swimming trunks. What could I do ? If I'd have said anything about it, Then *I'D* be the bad one for "causing trouble" by making a big deal out of nothing.
I agree with all of the above. Some of the comments made that really touched tender spots with me are Indigonight, saying that if you were his daughter, he would be pounding on somebody's door. Indigo, I really would have wished for a father like you. That brought tears to my eyes! And Jeanette, I totally agree with you. Anyone that minimizes the abuse that we have gone through makes me angry too. Not just the abuse that I had to suffer through, but it makes me angry for other survivors just as much if not more so. Like Starlette said, the same kind of abuse has had a powerful affect on her life, just like it has on yours, Itzjustme. The feelings you have are very valid, and you have every reason to feel the way you do. It's a crying shame that people get away with this kind of behavior because of loopholes in the law. If someone like this were able to make the opportunity and thought that they could get away with it, they would most certainly do more than touch. Many have already. I think it is just as harmful as any other form of sexual abuse, and in some aspects, maybe more so. Because as Portlander said, if you report it, almost certainly nothing will be done, and it leaves you wondering if you have a right to feel violated, if you are just making a big deal out of nothing.