I think it's frustration letting itself out in a dream because you don't feel safe talking about it to your parents. It doesn't make you bad or evil. Dreams kind-of have a mind of their own. It's like a stress release. I sometimes consider them a blessing.
Try not to beat yourself up over it.

of course you're not a bad person. it was just a dream...try not to beat yourself up too much over it. I've had some crazy dreams myself from time to time (((HUGS)))

A lot of my dreams more recently are about killing the abuser. He shows up as a headless man in the dreams. I have written most of the dreams I remembered and gave them to my therapist. What she realized by reading them as I was healing, I was the topdog. I was the one pursing the abuser and wanting to hurt them. She said it was healthy that I now was doing the pursing rather then the abusers pursuing me. The dreams I feel are my way of working thru all the anger I felt towards those that hurt me as a child. No you are not bad at all. You are working thru your pain and anger in a dream as I see it.

oo ok thank u!!! :)
it felt soo real omg!

To bad you didn't see his blood and gray matter splatter all over the way in real life.

LOL

When I started healing, from the abuses in my marriage, from the abuses of another relationship that was hell, and from the abuse from childhood, I often had dreams of hurting the ones that had abused me. At first, it was like anything I did to them didn't phase them, and they laughed. Then the dreams actually started coming about in my favor.
I am really of the opinion that when you start fighting back in your dreams, no matter how improbable the situation, no matter how pacifistic you are in the real world, that it is a sign of you FIGHTING BACK and starting to take your life back. It is a heck of a difference from those dreams that steal in to make you feel helpless, defenseless and abused all over again! In these dreams, YOU ARE FIGHTING BACK! And that carries over into real life, in your attitude, in your determination to recover and heal. And it is a change in the innermost you, that you are now fighting against the past and ready to take on the present. I think those dreams are a very good sign coming from the inner most YOU, from your subconscious. You are moving from victim to survivor.

thank you! :)

i feel scared though, cuz in real life i dont wanna hurt anyone, so i was scared that wat if i snap and do something crazy

You know itzjustme, I felt the same thing you have felt and that is when will I snap and go crazy. That was always a fear of mine that I would dealing with all of the rage and anger I felt that I would lose it. 20 years later I have not lost it... I wonder if a lot of survivors here feel that way.

I did NOT snap. I felt the rage, but at this point in my life, I am far from those who have abused me, and I have learned lots of ways to deal with the anger that don't hurt anyone, not even myself. You can do it too. In real life, I don't want to hurt anyone either, cause I know how it feels. I used the "poison letter" (never sent), hitting pillows, talking to an empty chair and telling that person how I felt (Just imagine the one who abused you in an empty chair and tell them exactly what you think!). There are ways to deal with the rage without hurting anyone. I'm sure if you use your imagination, you can even think of more! You have self control. You have grown up and are no longer a child. I think that you can do this without hurting anyone. If you are in counseling, which I highly recommend, then your counselor will help you work through it too. But don't be afraid of the anger. Your cousin is not going to hurt you anymore.

Its just a dream, I've dreamt about some messed up stuff, trust me! You don't even wanna know! I hope it doesn't mean I'm going to snap and do it either :s