Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I was sexually abused as a child by my mother's father and although most if not all of his five girls were as well, I was the only one to come forward. My mom went to the police at the time and did the right thing but the trouble is I think my mom may have abused me as well. Lately I have had flashbacks to my mom having me scratch her back and having me go lower and lower to her bottom and eventually touching her private areas. Since remembering this I have had a daughter and had cut off all contact with my mom. I just don't feel safe around her with my daughter. She keeps calling and trying to bully her way back I to our lives. Help any advice or suggestions would be much appreciated.
I believe you are justified in doing WHATEVER you need to do to keep your daughter safe or to feel confident that you are keeping your daughter safe.
There are all kinds of variables about how close you let your mom, all the way from no contact at all to letting her back in your life. You need to keep her at the distance that feels safe to you. You have that right and you have that duty to your daughter.
It may be possible to work on building greater trust with your mother, but that would depend on her demonstrating respect for the boundaries you set. You can try that, test her a little, maybe be open about needing to see her show respect for your boundaries. But the bottom line is, you have the right and the responsibility to do whatever is in your power to keep your daughter safe - and if your mom can't respect that, if she puts her own ego or denial or personal needs above respect for your feelings and obligations, then she has not earned the right to be trusted.
Thank you so much for the advise and support. I forgot to mention my mom lives only less than one block from me in a very small town. This is uncomfortable to say the least. She has major boundary issues as does most of my family members which is why I try to stay away from the drama. Anyway, it's so nice to know there are these support groups online because an outside opinion always helps. Thanks you.