Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
first of all I must say that I have not been on this sight for a while. I have a problem with disconnecting so for about a year and a half, I have done nothing towards recovery. What changed is that I was offered a new job. One that I will have a lot of responsibilities. So I decided to get back with taking the meds (I also have ADD), and start therapy.
Today was my second session with a therapist that I had not seen before. I have a good feeling that she will be able to help me a lot more than the last one. She also works part time at a trauma word at a local psychiatric hospital. Well anyway, today she was working with me in an exercise to be able to feel the emotion of when the assault happened ( when I was 6) and then use meditation technique to distance (not forget) myself from that time again as a tool to be able to talk about it without breaking down. So we tried it, and apparently I started having flashbacks, and I was shaking like a leaf. But then she was able to talk me back into today, and a more calm state of mind.
Right now my mind is going everywhere... very scattered. It was a very very scary experience, but I am now hopeful of my future for the first time if a very long time.
Also I did not realize how much.... I don't even know the right words to use... these memories; control me? bother me? are buried deep inside of me?.... I disconnect so well that I had forgotten the emotion. i thought this was not going to be as hard as it apparently will be.
right now my mind is on fire. I keep having to do the meditation thing that she showed me. Now I'm rambling.
Today was my second session with a therapist that I had not seen before. I have a good feeling that she will be able to help me a lot more than the last one. She also works part time at a trauma word at a local psychiatric hospital. Well anyway, today she was working with me in an exercise to be able to feel the emotion of when the assault happened ( when I was 6) and then use meditation technique to distance (not forget) myself from that time again as a tool to be able to talk about it without breaking down. So we tried it, and apparently I started having flashbacks, and I was shaking like a leaf. But then she was able to talk me back into today, and a more calm state of mind.
Right now my mind is going everywhere... very scattered. It was a very very scary experience, but I am now hopeful of my future for the first time if a very long time.
Also I did not realize how much.... I don't even know the right words to use... these memories; control me? bother me? are buried deep inside of me?.... I disconnect so well that I had forgotten the emotion. i thought this was not going to be as hard as it apparently will be.
right now my mind is on fire. I keep having to do the meditation thing that she showed me. Now I'm rambling.
Congratulations on getting past the crisis stage. I know how hard that is. I went into clinical depression. I had my fourth session with my fifth therapist yesterday. She also seems very good and very experienced with both trauma and dissociation.
Therapy usually stirs things up for me too, because I work very hard at it. Sometimes too hard.
Congratulations on the new job also. I also know how hard it is to maintain a good work attitude while experiencing the emotional pain. I also work full time. You sound like you are doing well even though it is hard and painful.