Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

3,544 Members

16,257 Posts

0 Online

refurb 03/04/2018

Incorrect but so powerful.

it seems to me that one of the major effects from being abused is that the abused feel that they are dirty or deserved it ,This is 100% incorrect.

In every case, in every circumstance, 100% incorrect.

It troubles and saddens me to no end that “we, our culture, us” have not collectively put any real energy into helping the abused see that thier feelings of Uncleanness / deserving, while being normal feelings that an abused person may have , that such feelings are from miss understanding and missperception

i read posts in this thread and get so frustrated at my inability to articulate the truth of what I’ve just written in a way that would shatter those chains of misunderstanding and misperception

those who were abused, were abused because they are clean and innocent wonders of creation, the people that abused you wanted that beauty maybe because they lack it themselves or for countless other twisted reasons

it you were abused, please know that your innonce remains , you may feel otherwise , if so don’t hate yourself for feeling such, find ways to see your feelings as feelings that can be changed by seeing the truth, truth of innonce that resides inside you

rosecandy 03/05/2018

This actually made me cry a little bit just now. It's so hard to believe, but it's such a compassionate and kind thing to tell us.

Because you're right. For some reason, very few of us can find it in our hearts to believe it and some of us feel like we're tinged with something filthy forever and maybe we feel like we don't deserve love anymore and maybe some of us sabotage ourselves a lot because of it and we don't even realize it.

Thank you.

Harper- 03/05/2018

You said this so well. Thanks for writing it.

I was gang raped and always felt dirty. My father, who never laid a hand on me sexually was verbally disgusting and made me feel gross. I was date raped again at age 12 and felt so much shame, like it was my fault. I walked through the school hallways feeling like trash and gross. I felt like people would think "you are a sl** and wanted it" I hid my body and still do. I have gotten over the flashbacks and things don't bother me so much these days but I still feel dirty and trashy.

I see society looking at abused kids as dirty too. I don't know how to fix it when I feel trashy myself. I wish I could say "I was raped" with a warrior mentality but it always comes with shame full well knowing it was not my fault.

I definately sabotage myself rose. I feel like I have to prove I'm worthy of someone's attention.

Thanks again for this post.

refurb 03/06/2018

in general there are three types of people. when they cross paths with beauty, their inner nature is revealed.

Some people cross paths with beauty and are moved by it's grandeur, power, fragility, delicateness, etherealness, majesty ... and want to protect/preserve/nature such.

Some people cross paths with beauty and just aren't moved by it in that they just don't notice it for whatever reason.

Some people cross paths with beauty and have to have it. Maybe having is a simple as cutting down a beautiful redwood tree for paneling. Maybe it is worse in that they have to tarnish it so no-one else can ever have it.

Think of beautiful baby seals in our recent times, some people see money in them as other people want to wear clothes made of their hides.

Should the baby seal be ashamed of itself because of that?
Truth is, no.

You members here in this group are no different.
You were and ARE beautifully innocent.
The people that crossed paths with you revealed themselves to be otherwise.

hopefulmama 03/07/2018

Such a powerful message,my daughter is a survivor and I come here often to offer support to others and try to gain some insight.People don't understand abuse and it saddens me that some abuse victims are blamed,I have even heard stories of parents not wanting their kids to play with other kids who were abused,out of fear that the victim might teach their children inappropriate things.In Elizabeth Smart's book she tells a story about a time she was at church and they were learning about saving yourself for marriage,another child told her no one would want to marry her because she had pre marital sex.She said it took her awhile to realize rape is not premarital sex.Society has a lot to learn.Survivors should have no shame!

CasMac1 03/10/2018

Thanks for what you said, I was molested when I was young and gang raped at 15 and I never had anyone to help me. I felt worthless for years and full of shame. My mother called me a slut for getting pregnant after being raped. it saddens me that this is still going on in life today, women are still made to feel unworthy, and that you have lost your innocence and left with shame. it is so s, so wrong that men are getting away with this, years later. I have found peace no but I felt full of shame for years I have never forgiven theses people and I never will. sometimes I feel like going on Facebook and shaming them so that all the world will know how they changed my life and hurt me. It takes years to get over being raped and molested, but healing is possible and it is wonderful that others share. thanks hugs casey

rebirth 03/12/2018

It is interesting to read this because my inner voice blamed me for it. I can logically say to myself that I didn't want or asked for it. This inner battle took so long to deal with.

Join the Conversation