Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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Miki26 07/27/2017

Hi all...I've been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks now. He knows about the ongoing sexual assault in my last relationship (it's been 18 months since that ended but I haven't dated anyone in that time), and so far has been incredibly sweet. He says he doesn't want to force/pressure me into anything, doesn't want me to do anything before I'm ready, and most importantly wants me to feel safe. I'm still anxious about intimacy after my ex, but I have no idea how to go about working on it with my new boyfriend. I'm not sure what I can tolerate doing without getting anxious, with the time that's passed and with a different man. I'm 28 and female, and I am seeing a therapist to work on boundary and self worth issues. If anyone has any advice on how to go about moving forward, I'd greatly appreciate it.

refurb 07/27/2017

my girlfriend was put through a lot as a child then in her late 20's, she was very guarded with me, then she told me details, then we moved at her pace, steps forward and backward.

from my perspective, i'd say it hinges on you being honest with yourself, be comfortable when you feel comfortable and when you don't feel comfortable, accept it, don't force yourself to be, i think that could help a lot, intimacy is being & making oneself vulnerable you are doing that as you talk to your boyfriend, the sex will follow out such

if he respects you, he'll honor you, if he doesn't, then he worthy of your vulnerability, from your post he seems to genuine.

two people being genuine with each other = good things

RiverRain 07/27/2017

HI, I am new to the group. I am 33. I have been where you are now. You'll be dealing mixed emotions so keeping a journal it will help you a great deal, and art or craft work helps too, a pet would help too as they just know how to be there for you with no words needed at times. But mostly it will depend on how you see the situation and how far you are being able to deal with what comes up in a 3rd party mode. Not always easy, when flash backs hit you out of nowhere at the most inconvenience of times. I am not sure how you are with faith but I am spiritual in my beliefs. But some form of faith helps to get through the difficult times. Another idea would be to try 3 sessions of Reiki as it would work on helping you in more ways than just the physical level. You asked about the new guy in your life and how to proceed forward... Be gentle, be patient and go on picknicks, go dancing, do things together so you get to know each other's vibes, body language and so your body & mind can learn to know it can trust this new person within your life now. Also from my own experience horse workshop therapy also helps one's body and mind to come to terms with different aspects one's life experiences. I know you can and will heal all in good time with plenty of self-love and self-good care, and plenty of patience with yourself. Hope I have been able to help you if not then please ignore my contribution on this comment. Best Wishes.

Muskoka007 07/28/2017

Go with what feels comfortable, don't push yourself to please him. He doesn't sound pushy but sometimes we, I know I can, be a pleaser. Talk with your therapist too if you are comfortable.

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