Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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im back

rainbowfish03
rainbowfish03

Ok so, it has been a really long time. about seven months i think. I posted here when i first joined and thing everything happened so fast. 


For a little bit of background. im the oldest of five siblings. when my mom got breastcancer dad made me take over for her. in and out of bed. she knew nothing about it. after she died it got worse. i finally told a nurse at school.


After i told her she called the police and it felt like forever till i got to see my siblings again. We were taken out of dads care but unfortunately werent able to be put into the same house. the first few months i would get to see them occasionally but i havent seen any of my siblings in over three months now. my dad was killed in jail before he had a chance to even go to trial. 


as for me, im in an ok foster home. my foster parents are nice enough. i have two (steps/fosters...what do i call them) brothers and sisters and they are alright. there is one thing that my dad left for me though. i now have a two week old little girl. she means the world to me. 


i am in therapy though to be honest that doesnt seem to be going well. but then again i dont open up very easily and i dont trust anyone. i have nightmares, flashbacks, trouble with any touching by guys, i cant sleep unless i have a chair in front of my door. it is hard to live life. the only thing that seems to calm me down any (as much as a very paticular baby can) is my daughter. i wake up to her crying, even if i was in the middle of a nightmare, and i know im not back there. 


part of me feels like im relying on her to much. i dont know. 

hopefulmama
hopefulmama
Nothing like a baby waking every 3hours to distract you!Take advantage of the distraction but my stance has always been if you don't click with the therapist,move on.There are many good ones out there and unfortunately many bad ones.Sounds like you have PTSD,who wouldn't?Perhaps for now a phone call to your sibling would do?Hang in there and find strength in your beautiful baby!
Mena
Mena
Dearest person. No one should have to shoulder such burdens. The rule of thumb is that it takes two years to get over the loss of one close relative. You have lost and endured so much more. You deserve peace, comfort, and healing. If you can find it with your daughter, that can only be a good thing. Trust is not simple...a therapist can be as much of an authority figure as a parent, and talking about what happened sometimes brings it up all over again. Are there ways of seeing or talking with your siblings more often, in person or online? That would give you more continuity. A physical activity, like martial arts, would give your body a possibility to deal with the bad memories in ways that talking may not. Bringing up trust issues with the therapist may help, otherwise consider changing. A big hug to you and your siblings.
Muskoka007
Muskoka007
I am sorry for what you went through. You are so brave to have told the nurse at school, and to get away from your Dad. That is sad you got separated from your siblings and I hope down the road you will have more access to them, that is one advantage of getting older.