Do what you need to do to keep yourself emotionally safe. At the moment that may be not thinking about it, but avoiding it, in the long term, doesn't resolve it.

Take care of yourself and keep safe.

There was a time in my healing process where I couldn't stop thinking about the abuse. I tried so hard to put it out of my mind but I couldn't. It was there, front and center, and the only way to stop thinking about it was to feel all the horrible feelings I didn't want to feel and thereby process them. The only way to being fully healed is to go through all the feelings.

Although you are able to put the abuse out of your mind for a while by distracting yourself, eventually, this coping mechanism will stop working and you will need to face all the atrocities that happened to you. It is the only way to heal. I would urge you to start seeing a therapist (if you are not already) before this happens so that you don't go through it alone. No one should go through this alone. We all were alone through it once, we shouldn't have to go through it a second time scared and alone.

Please be patient with yourself though. You need to be ready to deal with everything that happened.

Take care

TheSilentDawn,

You ask, "If I just don't think about it, will it be alright."

I say, "Maybe, for awhile." But ignoring the hard things that impact us don't make them disappear. The emotions may go underground but they will still impact your beliefs, your feelings, actions and thoughts whether you want them to or not.

You can face this--which, IMO, is better since you'll not be drawn to dysfunctional people, places, and situations--or you can wait until the one who holds your truth refuses to be silenced.

xx
SuzA
Personally, though I've had flashbacks, I don't see them as a problem but rather as messengers come to tell me something.

Been there, done that. I went through around 5 years on counselling. Around the second year I tried that, didn't work. Even tried to slam a lid of spiritual practise over it. It all finally boiled over, and onward ho i went.After the following 3 years changes started to happen. My mood swings became less and less and the depression has become merely moments of sadness.
You can work through this, it just takes patience and determination to see it through to the end and there is an end and you're doing it for you!

Hi Silent Dawn (lovely name, btw)

I have been having the same thought lately. I sit here thinking that I was better BEFORE I started therapy. I started therapy because I wanted to learn to deal with my emotions instead of eating (then i could be healthier and enjoy my life...go back to climbing fire mountains and stuff. I wanted to be open to being in a relationship again. I wanted to learn trust and all that good stuff. Just a bit of tweaking.

5 months into therapy I have flashbacks. I think all men have cooties (and worse) I am painfully aware of my weird sexual fantasies and I have at least one panic attack a week. I cry for no reason. I have moments of deep sadness. I'm jumpy and irritable.

For some strange reason part of me thinks this is a good thing. A hard thing but a good thing nonetheless. I think I need to feel of the crap that I don't remember feeling when it happened. To survive maybe part of me went away when it was happening but another part was there and she was hurt.

So....I dig for the pony. At least there better be a pony...not some silly donkey....