Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hey, im not really sure quite how to be saying this... but I was sexually abused when I was twelve, the guy was younger then me. I know it wasn't just kids fooling around because he used to say things like "I love it when you cry." or "I'm so lucky to be able to break such a pretty girl as you." It lasted about six and a half months. It ended a few days after I turned thirteen, because I moved. Either way, nobody I know in real life knows. Just me. I don't want to tell my parents because while I know they will belive me, they will feel responisble. I don't want that. I'm struggiling everyday, even someone just asking something as simple as if im ready can remind me of this guy. I just don't know what to do. I even get nightmares.
Just so nobody worries;
1) I am not in any way suicidal or a self harmer
2) I now live about 3,000 miles away from the person so I am safe.
Thank you for reading this, and thanks in advance for any responses. I hope you have a good day.
You are not to blame for anything that someone forced upon you or your body. What you choose to say or not say to anyone is completely up to you on how comfortable you feel revealing to others.
It took me about 5 years to tell anyone about abuse that occurred in my home against my sisters and I. It was a risk, but I wasn't able to reveal it until I was ready to speak about it. Give yourself a much needed break on all of it. If you feel comfortable, seek counseling, it really can be helpful to process through it all with a trusted counselor.
I found relief by forgiving my abuser and processing through it all with the help of good friends and confidants that helped me put into perspective truth instead of lies. I prayed ALOT and gave all my pain to God for Him to carry as it was to big for me to carry alone. Do you have anyone you can trust or counsel with who will help you work through all of this? I know it can seem overwhelming, but you are not alone and you are cherished and treasured beyond your own understanding. Take time for you. Do things that are self care for you. Write in a journal when you are feeling the need to get things out, it can really help a lot. I had a locked journal so no one would happen upon it and see what I wrote. It was truly secure and just for me to pour over the pages my thoughts, concerns and feelings. Sometimes the simple act of just being able to get it all out was enough help I needed to get through another day. I pray you have a great day today and know that you are loved, you are cherished and you are of great value!!!!
fuck him
fuck his defenders
fuck the victim shamers
fuck the 'he's just a child' bastards. So were you.
I love you so much for being brave enough to post about this. Stay brave, even when it means you have to be vulnerable. My dms are always open to you. Girl to girl rant whenever you want and I will try my best to support you.
My abuser was 16, but I was four. It wasn't just sexual, it was also torture. It screwed up my life for 32 years, but through a lot of hard work and willingness to endure, for the past 20 years my life is free from the nightmare that was given to me through abuse when I was four.
I really appreciate you sharing that you are safe, and not suicidal and no longer being victimized, because all those things matter.
I want to offer you some advice, If you have a loving family and parents, please consider telling them. You should do it slowly and carefully making sure they have time to hear, or perhaps even consider writing all the details down, and then just handing them the paper.
Now let me explain why. Until now, you have carried this burden alone and, it is far to large for you. you were traumatized, and it seems and sounds like you were raped or at least sexually abused and many people who suffer such abuse never recover. It is bigger than we are. We need help, but we need the right help. Only you can determine who you tell and when, and if it is as you say, they love you, they will feel responsible and hurt, but they will also work to help you recover.
When we are abused or victimized particularly at very young ages, it wounds our soul and spirit. We are changed and affected in very negative ways and we need to address these wounds as soon as we can. It really is not possible for us to heal ourselves without an abundance of loving support from others.
Sexual abuse and trauma is a heavy burden. It is like trying to carry a building on your shoulders all by yourself every single day. We have to take the building apart brick by brick and hand our nightmare to others, and let them help us carry it until all the bricks are dust and have no power over us any more.
Love, is always willing to endure suffering for those who are loved. Your heart is tender and beautiful, as you are trying to protect your parents from the horror you experienced but, you are not protecting them. You are actually withholding truth from them, and keeping them from supporting you in ways you really need. However, if your parents are not stable and secure, they could actually be more of a hindrance than help.. You have to make these choices, but you don't have to make them alone.
Because your perpetrator was so young, it is highly likely he was taught this behavior from an adult, in other words, he did what was done to him or taught to him by others. He is most likely out there now 3000 miles from you, continuing to victimize others. If it is possible, we should do all we can to protect others, and this too is a burden too heavy for you to carry alone..
My own daughter, was raped when she was just 14 by an adult. She shared this with me when she was 16, because even though she had told her mother shortly after it happened, her mother could not help her. She was not comfortable sharing the details of her abuse with me but I was able to get her in touch with people who helped her work through her recovery. She is now Mostly recovered, in a stable relationship and has two children of her own.
It is incredibly unfortunate, but I want you to know, directly after my abuse, (I was four and in kindergarten) I also did exactly what my abuser taught me, with several girls who were my classmates. this behavior continued until I was in third grade, I guess I became aware then, it was wrong and stopped..
I told you that to let you know, if you have behaviors that stem from your abuse, don't blame yourself over them. Nothing about what happened to you, or even your own behaviors stemming from your abuse are your fault. They are your responsibility, and there is a difference.
Also I want to warn you about this site and the people on it. Most are caring and compassionate however, there are predators here. I advise you to protect yourself. there are people here seeking people who have been victimized, in order to continue to victimize them.
If you were my grand daughter This is what I would say to you. Do not trust anyone with your details. Do not speak with adults who your parents do not know and approve of you speaking with. Or at least some other adult that you find trustworthy if your parents are not. (some victims are abused by their parents) Be general about what is going on with you when you post on public boards. Be patient and only trust adults slowly, the last thing you need is to be harmed more.
personally, my story is pretty horrifying but, it is history and long dead history at that. I am recovered as much as I want to be, I am free from all the influence of the abuse I endured that I chose to eliminate from my life. I am not longer a victim, I am a survivor. You are not broken. He did not break you. He stole from you and with a lot of help patience and hard work you can take back as much as possible the life that is yours. I am happy peaceful content and secure and stable. I have dozens of very close friends, most of whom are survivors also, and many of whom I had the honor of helping carry their burdens.
I make this offer not just to you but to anyone who is still suffering who reads this. If you choose, please message me. You can share as much or as little of your grief as you wish, and if you think I might help you in some way recover from the abuse you have endured, I am willing. I care, and I will never give up on you. You are worth it. You have value. Recovery is often painful and difficult but it is worth all the effort. You are worth the effort.
thank you for sharing.