WHen a young child I attempted suicide for the first time, when a teacher flipped over my school desk scaring me for life,l and sending me to one shrink after another ever since. Now I just want to live, fight, survive another day. While a child suffering with depression, I was sent up North to live in swamp like conditions forced to live with younger violent teenaged girls and boys all sent away for being violent people. Or unwanted children. I was there because I accidently triped over a candle I lit, and ran home to tell my mom, popping a bottle of tylenol into my mouth as I ran back to check out the damage, and turn myself in. At age 16 I was sent to a few mental hospitals, then the one up North, where I was sexually raped and abused by about 7 other girls heavier and stronger than me. I was put into a coma for seven days, and refused visitors. They told my family I was being punished for being bad.Then every single health care provider I worked close with hit on me as well. Once I lived in a group home with seven men. One man was hired to watch over us. HE overmedicated me, raped me, and then forced his hands full of soap to clean up after his wronged behavior.
Guess what. I went to program for councling in group where I nabbed my counclers attention right away to tell. Then after more humiliation of a rape kit he was fired found guilty as no dna was found reports of abuse were, and he was sent back to his country.
I only wish to forgive so I may heal let it go and live in peace from the past, and leave it where it should be left, in it's behind.