Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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lmw570 07/21/2016

For the first time in about 14 years, I saw the guy whos making my life now hell.

It was at a car boot sale, of all the people in all the places I saw him, happy with his wife strolling round pointing out things he saw and liked, and I nearly passed out. He caught my eye, stopped and looked for a minute, with a confused look on his face, then walked away without a glance.

The story I have about 'that time' literally only comes to me in flashbacks, I was around the 7/8 years old age and in between houses before I got settled properly with my grandparents, both of who, had no idea. I didn't get my first flashback until I was 20 years old. And this was the first I knew about anything that had happened to me.

You see, his wife is a primary school teacher, so he has an arms length but nevertheless an amount of access to children, and if he did stuff to me he could just as easily do it to them too, but it was 14/15 years ago this happened to me so surely it would be too late to report anything to the cops?

My flashbacks are few and far between, and I suspect there's a lot more happened than what I can actually get information of from flashbacks. They're rare, but they hit me hard and take me down for days. He is happily married and getting on with his life and all I can do is live mine, and sit, and wait for another flash of horror.

LuckyEmpath 07/21/2016

That had to be so difficult and triggering for you to see him. I cannot even imagine what that must be like. Actually, I can a little because I saw the man who raped me when I was 24 and I froze. But to see the man who abused me as a child....I don't know what I would do. It sounds like you handled it very well and for that, you should be proud of yourself.

I also had no memories although mine didn't return for 30 years. At first they all came back as flashbacks just as they are for you but as I continued with my healing this changed. The flashbacks stopped and I was able to retrieve memories with the help of hypnosis. Then, with more healing, I was able to remember on my own.

Are you working with a therapist? If you are not I would urge you to consider it. A therapist who specializes in sexual abuse can be a God-send. You can heal and you deserve to heal from what happened. It is unfair for you to have your life on hold because of what happened when you were a child. Please do yourself a favor and work on your healing. And if you are already working with a therapist then keep doing the work and eventually you will fully heal. In your own time and at your own speed. It will happen.

((hugs))

squeaker43 07/21/2016

Lucky said exactly what I would have said to you. Just know that you will get a lot of help on here. All you have to do, is ask. My abusers were my parents so until I could "get away", I had to deal with them on a daily basis. I took way to long to get serious help so I spent way too many years getting some relief from it. I hope if you are not in therapy, you try to find one that you can trust and that person will help you to get through all of this. I send hugs your way, too.

MrEthereal 07/22/2016

I can totally relate to you. My Father moved on after his abuse of me and his failed attempts at manipulation. He replaced us with a new 'family' and acts like nothing ever happened. I do not know how I would feel about seeing him by accident. He would never admit anything and I do not think I could handle being called a liar yet again. However I recently learned that I personally felt better after confronting people that wronged me. Not the abuse I suffered by my Father but bullies from school,
I am not at all saying you should have confronted him, but having someone to talk to about your feelings and memories will help. The issues is finding the right therapist as you might have to meet with several of them and have several sessions before you can determine if they are the right fit for your needs.
As for him re-offending if it is bothering you to wonder it could not hurt to go the the police and talk to them about it. That might take you some time in therapy to be able to do but in my way of thinking it is a correct action.

Mr. E.

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