I am an adult woman who has survived sexual abuse....I use the term survived losely as I have had constant battles during my adulthood as a result. For instance,I struggle with a pornography addiction at times.It also left me always longing for romance...meaning that I would fanticize about a man falling deeply in love with me and sweeping me off my feet but at the same time having a deep self loathing that says I am not worthy of such love. I married when I was in my early twenties to someone who had been molested and and it was the worst decision I ever made.He was emotionally and verbally abusive.Sex made me feel horrible,I hated it.So eventually we broke up.
Fast foward a few years.I met this really great guy.He was sweet and attentive.I actually made love for the first time in my life, it was gentle and wonderful. I knew that he had some problems with getting an erection but we always managed to make things work. One day a couple of yrs into ur relationship,we had a disagreement about his lack of communication concerning sex. He said something about being fearful of it. Ok, now my question is has he been sexually abused.I can't ask him,as he has ended our relationship.He once told me that his brother had teased him awfully growing up about girls but could that even be linked to sexual dysfunction?He started to tell me something a while back, ha said," My brother" and then stopped himself.I don't know a whole lot about male sexual dysfunction and sexual abuse but I can't help but to wonder if his brother sexually abused him.as a kid.The most I have ever gotten out of him is that his brother was mean and teased him awfully growing up.He has had this dysfunction all his life.I would like to get some opinions.He did however,say that making love to me was good.I never mentioned his dysfunction because I didn't want to make a big deal of it.I love(loved) him.