Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
hi, im new to this so i dont really know what i am doing but i need to get something off my chest i have so much pain and guilt in my heart i just need advice, or someone to talk to, i feel like im going crazy. Like my world is falling apart iv been surrounded by so much bad that i don’t know when anything good comes along. When im happy it quickly fades because i feel like something bad will happen and usually it does. I am very depressed i don’t know what to do. When i was 16 i was sexually abused by a family member for about two years i blame myself i feel disgusted and embarrassed i got the courage to finally let my mom and step dad know at the age of 18. It finally stopped and i was relieved, But at the same time i felt like they didn’t understand they would look at me and ask why i didnt scream or fight, people don’t understand the feelings you have until they are in that situation it is like u are frozen and watching your self from above i felt i had no power its like if a speeding car was headed towards you and all you had to do was jump out the way easy right? No cause u get scared and you are stuck its not easy to just jump out the way, cause u feel paralyzed and no matter how many times a speeding car will be headed towards you if its the 2nd or 10th time those feelings are still replayed like its the first time. I was still frozen. But i was fighting for those years i just felt worthless and scared to say anything thinking people would blame me the way i blame myself. I still have to deal with seeing his face on occasions and family events and it has been killing me and ripping a piece of me everytime that is because i didnt want to go to the authorities. I was scared and embarrassed. I am 19 now and my feelings are all over the place i can’t interact with guys in a relationship sexually cause thats all i think about is that situation then they get mad because i dont say whats wrong i just leave. I know i have very much to be grateful for but i am so tired and sad I already feel dead inside. If anyone reads this i am really willing to listen to any kind of advice
-
I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
-
Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
What you're describing about being frozen and unable to fight, scream or do anything about it is very common in traumatising situations. I too experienced some situations like I was floating above myself and watching it happen. No chance to react in any way. It wasn't my fault and it wasn't your fault. This is important: NONE OF IT WAS YOUR FAULT! The fact that you told your parents shows your courage, because it is an extremely difficult step to take. Congratulations on that!
You're asking for advise. Dealing with trauma is not an easy thing to do, as you've already noticed yourself. I recommend you to find a counselor/therapist who can help you heal. It helps me a lot. Sometimes victim's assistance can help you find a therapist who specializes in trauma therapy. They don't require you to report your abuser to the police or anything, they just offer help in many ways.
Do you think it would be possible for you to tell your parents you don't want to see your abuser anymore? Because I saw mine once, years after it had stopped and it was horrible, so I imagine that must be really hard to deal with.
You're not alone in this. Gentle, supportive hugs
PS: The medical term for the freezing reaction is dissociation, I'm just mentioning it in case you want to read about it and/or give your parents something to read about it.
I agree on the need for therapy or counseling, so that you can heal and move beyond this painful trauma. You are young and deserve to have a rich and happy life. I found my first therapist for sexual abuse by calling the hotline at RAINN.org. They did not ask me to report ... in fact, they were so kind, even though the trauma I called about happened 40 years earlier!
Further, because of his mind games, I actually offered him sexual contact. Because of the sheer pressure on my, I compromised. And that too, is on him. That’s harder for me to get over, and that’s why I’m here. But there is no shame in it. I was sacred and in deep fear. That’s on him, not me.