Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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I'm not sure if it counts as abuse

JJ28
JJ28

When I was 15 a close family friend who I was raised with started to show sexual interest in me. He was in his 50s. It started when we are at a pool one day and he he made me pose for about an hour while he took photos of me in my bikini. Soon after that he invited me out for dinner and suggested I stay over at his house so he didn't have to drive me home. He asked if I wanted to sleep in his bed with him instead of the spare room. He then said he found me very attractive and wanted to sleep with me. When I refused he lay on the bed with me spooning me, touching me and trying to take my clothes off. I later went on vacation with him and his daughters. He spent the whole time asking me to sleep with him, finding excuses to touch me such as asking if he could put sunscreen on me. One day he sent the other girls to the beach and asked me to stay. He told me again how much he wanted to sleep with me and went through my underwear. He asked if he could take naked photos of me. I refused but agreed to let him take photos of me in my bikini. He did my hair and make up and physically posed me. He touched my breasts and genitals in the process. At one point he took my top off and pinched my nipple so it would stand up. He got an erection.

donnawanda
donnawanda
Yes it very much counts as abuse. It must have been very frightening for you. He violated every boundary of trust and propriety. And where were the protective adults to shield you from this man?
JJ28
JJ28
I told my mother years later. She said he has a bit of a weird thing for young girls then asked me if he actually did anything. She said she still thinks he is a good person who cares about me.
donnawanda
donnawanda
Yuck. Sounds like she didn't even recognize your need for protection. What did she stand to gain from the friendship with him? Sorry but her attitude makes me angry.
2magicman
2magicman
For someone that much older the you to violate you in such a manner can not to a good person. I'm so sorry you got cought up with such a person.

Scott
WallbrownF
WallbrownF
That is very much so abuse. I'm sorry you had to go through that situation. Indeed, it must have be frightening and confusing. It must also be hard and confusing to hear your mother say that she still thinks he's a good guy. It sounds to me like he has a problem. I definitely understand and also feel similar to DW about being angry with your mother. The world is such a confusing place sometimes. Just remember that we love you, and I hope you continue to come and talk with us about it.
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