if you want you can write your story to me personally. promise i will not judge you or be unkind.
I know how hard it is just to tell it...can be like reliving it.
I have had negative experiences in some support groups as well so get that too.
i just want to help. If you do not feel safe with me please try and find a counselor someone to talk to that you do trust. It does get better if you get help, i promise!

I agree with siskiya. Therapy is a good start. A therapist ( specifically one who deals with sexual abuse, post traumatic stress, would not judge anything that you say. I get the guilt part as well. I would think shame would also be a feeling you are having. I lived with shame having been abused by a foster parent and then at 9 or older being raped by a neighbor. I even thought of suing the Department of Child welfare since this foster family took in 9 of us, and after being in therapy I now know we were as foster kids just money in the bank. If you want to share with me you can write me a message. I, like siskiya would never judge anything you shared. I have judged myself harshly for years and realize the anger, the rage I felt should never have been directed at me, it should be directed at the perpetrators in my life who literally made my life a living hell. Telling others is exactly what I needed to do to release all that shame that was never mine to feel. God Bless you.

Thank you, both of you.

I am in therapy... but sharing with a therapist is not the same as sharing with other people. She's not allowed to judge. I pay her not to...

Crazygecko, if anyone here on the Sexual Abuse forum would judge you then I would really question why that person would be on here. All of us have been thru things most people do not talk about. I would think no one would be shocked telling their story. Here on DS it is about acceptance and not judging. I have been judged on here and I have ignored anyone who would judge and oftentimes would tell them exactly how I felt if they did. I have had numerous affairs, hated who I was and to be judged is not something I would tolerate. Walk in my shoes and judge me is what I have even told friends. My hope is that you find the courage to share but that only happens in YOUR TIME. My hope is that you can eventually do that, but if not that is ok too. We are here to lift you up and not put you down. Take care.

Thank you jeanette.

I don't think I'm ready to share again... I'm still trying to get over it being flung back into my face the last time I tried to share. Maybe one day. Maybe never. Right now, I don't know. I'm just trying to not loose it completely and do something stupid...

I am glad that you posted here. AS survivors of sexual abuse we all understand how difficult it is to talk about it. Some of us heal by talking and talking about it. Some of us do better by writing it down or espressing ourself thru art. Everyone is a little different. I talk about it a lot. My daughter writes poetry. And talking about it triggers her. find what works best for you. Also if you haven't find a therapist who specializes in sexual abuse.

I have not seen any harsh judgement here. If you do decide to share just put a warning at the begining that it might trigger some people. Some of us are made of steel and can handle others stories and some of us just can't. It is okay to share when you are ready.

Remember that you are a survivor and a hero and a very valuable human being with so much to offer the world. Take the time to heal yourself. You are worth it, Laura