Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I've always struggled. Did it count as rape and molestation if it was my brother who is only 3 years older than me all through my childhood until I was 14? I've spent my whole life in semi states of denial and intense pain. I'm now seeking a way to confront the past but it's something that I just really don't know. Please some feedback to see how i should proceed in my healing process. I know others have suffered so much more than I have and I don't want to insult them with my own experiences by calling those things something they aren't.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
There are other people here who are better equipped to offer you the advice you are seeking. I just wanted to acknowledge that part of your post. I hope you are able to find the peace and healing you deserve. In the mean time, you've found a place that I've found to be incredibly supportive and helpful.
As clm says, no one is keeping score, and no one is going to be insulted by you sharing your experiences. You are very welcome here. There is an Incest Survivor's Group on DS as well.
First, I love that you are a wildflower that refuses to be considered a weed! That speaks to your internal strength.
Second, your brother did rape and molest you--what else would you call it?
Third, its been said, but I'll say it again, no one on this board is keeping score. Nor, as clm08 said, "...who suffered 'more' or 'less.' " Sexual abuse wounds us and while some wounds go deeper than others all wounds cry out for healing.
Fourth, as to proceeding in your healing process--first let me say that you are and will always be the best judge of what works for you. Let no one tell you how to heal, how to think, or how to live your life.
What I offer are things that I, personally believe, are important to healing. These are actions that I have taken myself that have helped move me forward. Trust yourself to find those actions that will move you forward.
1) I believe it's important to educate yourself on the impact trauma has on your life. I found the book, The Courage to Heal by Bass and Davis very helpful in this regard and Matt Atkinson's book, Resurrection After Rape equally helpful.
2) I believe body work is critical to healing. We must reconnect to our bodies, recognize what we're feeling and give those feelings a name. Yoga is coming to the forefront as a means to do this as is mindfulness meditation. Check out Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of mindfulness meditation, at Amazon.com
3) Because support is absolutely necessary find a therapist trained to work with survivors. Some people have mentioned RAINN.org as a place to go for help in doing this or go to Sidran.org for more information.
No one can do the healing work for you, but you cannot do it alone. Good that you came here.
You can do this. Learn to trust your gut.
xx
SuzA