Flashbacks can be very difficult to deal with because they are so intrusive. And you can't even close your eyes to prevent yourself from seeing them - that's the part that bothered me most - no way to shut them off.

I am a supporter of working with a therapist. As I went through my healing process I was able to get in touch with the feelings and process them - by feeling them and doing what I needed to do to release them (cry, get angry....etc). I did get to a point where I had processed enough feelings (and memories that had returned) that the flashbacks stopped. That is when the memories returned in a different way - not like an actual memory - but not as harsh as a flashback either.

If you are not working with a therapist I would urge you to do so. The healing process can be very difficult to navigate alone and can delay your healing. A good therapist will validate your feelings and help you navigate through all the feelings and memories (and partial memories). You deserve to heal and you can heal.

Take Care

It's so easy to just self medicate. When you stop doing that you can see things more clearly and be able to with therapy make sense of them. It slows the healing. I'm just starting out on healing too. my therapist is having me write in a journal and do deep breathing exercises. I also got the book the courage to heal from childhood sexual abuse. It doesn't happen overnight but with dedication you can beat this. It's easier to write than to speak the experiences .