Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
I am a stepfather to a pedophile. I knew that he would hurt someone because of his nature. He always used lies and manipulation to get what he wanted. I have recently posted about his childhood and how he was raised in my journal. I am the only one that would catch him in a lie. No 1 else would do or acknowledge that he did something wrong. They knew that he was lying but chose not to do or say anything about it. His grandparents and mother praised him for nothing. The always would talk about how great he was with young children and what a sweet boy he is. I knew that something wasn't right but I had no idea that he was a pedophile. He molested 3 of his cousins. When that was discovered his grandmother blamed me for his problems because I warched pornograpy on the Internet. I never watched it with him. I always erased my history. So how did I have anything to do with him doing that? I believe that he turned out the way he did because he never was punished for things that he should have been punished for. If I could have been there when I found out I think that I would be in prison now. I guess I am glad I wasn't. He is in a troubled teen facility right now but is getting out soon. The catch is that he was only charged with 1 count of molestation. The mother of the children is going to press charges against him for 2 more counts of molestation. What makes me enraged is my mother in law is going to find some way to blame me. If my name is ever brought up I am going to sue for making me look like the villain. I absolutely hate both of them for dragging me into what he and he alone did. I honestly blame those who avoided to give him any form of discipline while he was growing up. The funny thing is that when he gets out they are going to get high speed Internet so he can play his 360 online. It's like they are rewarding him for what he has done yet again. I don't really talk to them. It's just what I hear through extended family. I am still really close to those that aren't in the immediate family. They know what my mother in law has done to me and they know who is to blame. I right this because I do have guilt. I feel like I had something to do with it. I have sought professional help for this and my psychiatrist told me that I wasn't to blame. I blame myself because I should have been able to see what was going on even though it didn't happen at my home. It happened at the grandparents home. The same ones that accuse me of having something to do with the way he turned out. No one has ever been molested in my home. They should look in the mirror real hard before casting blame on me. They are the monsters for letting him get away with anything and everything that he did prior to that. I lost costody of my son because of lies that were said about me. It didn't have anything to do with this because this all came to light after they took my son from me. What scares me most is that he will have contact with my son. I am going to fight to get my son back. I won't let that basterd hurt my son. I guess I share this here because I want the chance to possibly help someone who has been abused. I guess it is sort of selfish of me.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
I had manipulated people in the past and it was only by the grace of God I didn't go on to abuse a girl. (but I don't feel comfortable when in the presence of Schoolgirls as I still find myself 'turned on' by them)
Your stepson needs to get sex therapy about this before he goes on to abuse further kids. Odds are, he was abused himself.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
You don't have to have a conventional belief in "God" to subscribe to this prayer.
You have to let go of what they think of you and focus on the one goal-getting your son back.
For this you are going to need a very good attorney, methinks.
I think it would be good for you to have minimal contact with these people...you don't need this gossip.
I have said it before and it is so true - sexual abuse affects the entire family, not just the direct victim. For you, the abuse has also made you a victim, not of the abuse, but of the aftermath of abuse. I feel for you - it is hard to have a family member who has hurt others - the repercussions go throughout the entire family unit.
And it is not selfish to come here for self-help.....many of us do. But if you are also helping others, which I think happens anytime someone talks of their personal story of abuse, then you are not JUST helping yourself, but others also - just to know that there are other people who have suffered the various ramifications of abuse give many of us a feeling of being less alone in all this. And it is helpful to hear the perspective of a family member who is dealing with the negative aftermath of such violence.
I don't know your whole story - don't really have to; but for whatever reason you lost your son, if it is truly due to no fault of your own, then I hope that justice will be done and you can be a part of his life again; You are not alone in your struggle either - you have the support of many of us here, as you are yet another survivor of the effects of abuse. Be strong and do what you can to make your life, and the lives of others, better -
All my best
Refuse2quit
You may see her that way, but please never let you know you feel she was "tainted' - she will have enough of that to deal with from herself.
Is she in therapy? If so, then there is a good chance that she can develop a healthy self-image and not have to endure what some of us did. If not, I would strongly suggest that her parents think about getting her into some form of counseling.
I understand your anger and such, but you did not participate, nor do you approve of what happened to her. Love her and let her know she is a great person just as she is, regardless of the abuse. I like that you are here getting educated, but please learn to accept the past - it takes time and such, but if you get stuck in the rut of feeling responsibility for something that someone else did, you will not get past it.
Take care and be a good uncle -
Refuse2quit
The feminazi movement from the mid 60's to raise females up from impoverishment, was a guise to release misandry anger on men by creating the image of cave man male predators that brought immediate recognition on them as defenseless PlayBoy Bunny victims. Every effort has been made to destroy male authority at the same time adding a heavier burden of liability. (note Barak Obama and Joe Bidens feminist appeasing message of stopping sexual assault must start with MEN with no recognition of male juvenile sexual assault victims from 19-20 y/o teachers or day care workers)
They can dress like sluts and flaunt sexuality publicly and in every form of media, and at the same time destroy a male if anything to do with their sexuality is ever considered.
'Kind of like Muslim berka style sexism in reverse'
Sadly, after huge disruption in American culture the movement has begun to back fire.
Females and all the sex in the military are such a nuisance coupled with a potential need to return to mandatory draft will dictate what's necessary for national security.
And they have cried wolf rape for so long, police in metropolitan areas have stopped responding to actual rape 911's. If no actual perp is present or further threat of danger, the caller is simply told to go to the nearest hospital ER where a rape kit will be taken never to be followed up on and lost in archives forever.
First Amendment Freedom in America........... gotta luv it.
Tom S. in Tn.
Women here have been abused. I know this because they have no other reason to be on here. It has hurt them to a point that they need to find comfort from others that have been abused. Your comment is just a rant that doesn't belong in this support group. I think what you have said probably offended many here. These people have actually been hurt.