He did it again. I thought after I turned 18 he wouldn't try it again. It's been months. It happened thr other day. No one was home and mom was supposed to be back in an hour or so. It was light outside.. Nodt dark. My face was vovered yhe enitire time. He also put my shirt over my arm and face. I vouldnt say anything,I froze.,when he tried to put his dick in either of my places I tried to move away that was all I could do. Hr kept trying. I started getting scared and couldn't control my breathing. He finally opened my legs and jerked off to the view. 

I was wet and I hated that. I shut my door after he left and when he got in the shower I went down to the horses and stayed there for a bit. I got back to the house and went straight to my room. He acted normal, borrowed a movie. He has acted normal since then. I have avoided him. 

Afterwards I couldnt breathe, I felt sick, my stomach was in knots, I didn't eat, had a hard time sleeping. I have never felt that way before. I was barely able to tell my friends. I sat and cried and I could barely do that. My stomach still feels wonky.

I hate it all, I hate myself.. Grrrr...