Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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i blame myself

kayrl
kayrl
this is something i struggel alot with and i think's it's what's not letting me from moving on. when i was 8 my brother came up to me and had me do stuff and he would make me do stuff to him. when i was a lil older he would alway's come to me in the middle of the night and sometimes he would get on top of me and i would close my legs and hold it as tight as i could and i would just lay there and he woudl try and pull my legs apart but he knew i was awak so he would just go and get some loation or something so he could get his penis between my legs or when i was little he would just bring me to him room because luke and i shared a room and he would tough me all over and he would tell me to touch him and to give him a blow job. and when my parents weren't home he woudl have me do stuff like run and jump into his arms and give him a kiss and i wouldnt want to do any of it i would tell him no but he woudl alway's bribe me with stuff so then i woudl alway's do it. we messed around almost evernight and i hated it till i got older. AHHH this is so hard for me to talk about.......ok...when i was around 11 i was used to it and i actaully didn't mind it. i guess it felt good and i would get horny i guess you could call it...idk if 11's get horny or not but ya. and i somethimes wanted to mess around and stuff.we never went all the way because it hurt to much. but i just feel soooo guilty cuz i guess i feel like i did wrong also and that i should be punish also. idk people keep telling me it's not my fault but i dont' see how that's true...i know i was 8 when it started but i didn't want to at first but by the time i was 10-11 i did. so i guess i see that i did something wrong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My abuse started when I was four and lasted four years, then when I was 19 I was raped multiple times and I have been in counseling for these abuses for five years and I am just now starting to kinda think that it wasn't my fault. I didn't want to be abused I did get used to it though just as you did. My counselor is always telling me that I wasn't to blame at all and abused children take on the blame because sometimes it felt good. I think you just need to hear that a lot in order to believe it yourself. Your brother opened you up to feelings early and that is why you felt good later on. Your sexuality was started too early and that was definately not your fault. Ever need to talk let me know. I am still struggling with my issues and maybe we can help each other through it. lani.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It wasn't and isn't your fault. Just because it started to feel good doesn't mean you were to blmae for it. HUGS
deleted_user
deleted_user
My abuse started when I was 5 and it went on until my 20's, yeah 20's. My dad use to have me jerk him off and go to his bedroom- which he called his office and do those things to him. He even at times tried to have sex with me but he couldn't. I got so use to it and if I didn't do it for him he used to get very upset and make my life a living hell. But I couldn't tell anyone, so I just continued doing it and I hated it. I used to think it was my fault, but now I know it wasn't. So don't think that it is your fault because it wasn't. Hope this helps...HUGS
deleted_user
deleted_user
it is deffinetly not your fault!!
you were to young to no that it was wrong and you still didnt no it was wrong when you started enjoying it...it is normal to enjoy things sexual.
trust me its not your fault.
stay strong.
im here if you ever need to talk
you can add me as a friend if you want to.
best wishes
xxx
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Even if your body reacted positively (the way it was designed to react) it does not mean it is your fault.
You are a good, strong brave girl & NOT TO BLAME.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You were a kid, he was your brother. Your body responds. You love him but you know it's wrong. I mean think about ALL the conflicting messages we kids go through that were or are victims of incest....these are family members that we love and trust yet we know it's wrong but still we respond...no wonder we're screwed up and feel guilty huh? You did NOTHING wrong, what you're going through is totally normal and there is nothing nothing nothing for you to feel bad or guilty about at all. It was never your fault....ever.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You were over sexualized by your brother, and bribed to do something he knew was wrong. You were younger than him, and he was in control of you. Now by the time you were 11, you had hormones starting to come into play. Guilt is something we put on ourselves. There are many people who can say you shouldn't feel guilty. But you have to give yourself a gentle hug, come to terms with all of this, and hopefully when you do, there will be not more guilt. just understanding for yourself of what you did and didn't have control of. I hope this helps. Many, many hugs.
deleted_user
deleted_user
eight year olds don't know any better. i know i was eight.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Having a positive reaction to the abuse is one of the things that haunts many of us survivors. Being given such conflicting messages as a young child really has a way of making you feel guilty.

Know that your body reacted like it was designed to act. Be easy on yourself. You were a victim, you did nothing wrong!

Hope and Love
deleted_user
deleted_user
It wasnt your FAULT at all you were on 8, your body only did what it was made to do
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know why abusers target children because children are convincing enough to place the guilt on themselves. As a child you don't know what love is. I was 12 years old and in love with my abuser even began to get jealous. It didn't start off like that I was ashamed and confused at first. But he began to tell me things to make me believe that what he was doing was alright. Children don't know how to handle sex which is why we can't consent to sex. Sex is an emotional connection. And children who a taken advantage of loose those bounderies which is why most of them become Promiscuous. Blaming yourself is because you feel you made a choice but as ac hild choices are made for you. You would never have choosen that route. Survivors need to understand what survival means endurance, fighting unwillingly. You should not feel guilty for anything execpt not forgiving yourself. Love my survivors. Nothing is never impossible we are who we are inspite the things we've gone through and because of what we've gone through we are strong.