I am incredibly sorry for everything you’ve been through. I was in a similar situation with an ex boyfriend. When I decided that I would start saying no to sex, he would drug me. I finally left a couple years ago, and I have been doing better ever since. I feel stronger as each day passes, but I remember how I initially felt after it was over. Like my body wasn’t really mine and nothing made sense. I am here for you and so are the rest of the members if you’d like to talk. But I promise that it does get better.

Thank you. I struggle a lot. It's a weird thing but I still love my husband. As crazy as that sounds. I dont know if i could ever trust him again. I want to so bad. I think it's like beaten woman syndrome. How do I let go? How do I live with myself of I dont..

I am so sorry for what you've been through and what you're going through yes I have been there several times too many you need to find some Inner Strength be kind to yourself do things that make you happy no matter what it is relax think positive and happy and kind affirmations and say them to yourself I hope you find some peace today you are in my thoughts

I’m sorry you had to go through this. A couple days ago I found out that my ex partner had been sexually abusing me for 2 years. It sounds silly but at the time I thought being with him automatically gave him consent but apparently not.. even if you say no while being in a relationship& they still do it, it’s classed as rape.. I too don’t know how to deal with this. We have a 3 year old too& both have different partners now& both have babies on the way!

I'm so sorry, Steel.
Even if my story is different, I used to have these feelings, too: Not really knowing who I am, everything was confusing, I couldn't concentrate or remember things, felt disconnected from the world, other people, even my own body. I know it's very, very difficult to deal with but it will get better. Believe me, I have been there more times than I care to remember, it always goes away. If you can, try to do things you used to enjoy, even if you don't feel like doing it, do it anyway. It helps.
I'm sorry to say this, Steel, but love, in my opinion, is not enough for a relationship. Trust is essential and you can't trust a man who raped you. Sorry if this is harsh.
Much support to you.

The past couple of months he has been getting help. Almost 90 days sober. This is the first attempt he has made at getting better. I know it takes more than love.
Today is another bad day. I dont feel any worth. I'm very sad. I want to disappear. I want help but no one can help me.
Dosent seem like anyone knows how I feel. I dont feel like people take me seriously when i express my feelings. I'm alone in this