Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

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BitterBeauty27 06/08/2012

My daughter Fluerette is 10 years old and finally asked me about her father. I always said that hes gone and won't come back besides what do you need him for you have me and Kyle.
In reality Fluer is a rape baby that I had when I was 13. I was raped by a trusted friend of my parents and because I became pregnant I was labled a whore. About a year after Fluer was born he comitted suicide by putting a gun to his head. Shes too young too know this but I don't want to lie to her..... I just don't know what to tell her. Help Please

des10ed2b 06/08/2012

i would just tell her that her biological dad passed away a long time ago. just leave it short and simple.

Elizabeth1968 06/08/2012

I agree with Des. She's too young and really doesn't need to know any details, especially ones that would be emotionally hard for her. I would just keep it short and simple. That's not lying, you are telling the truth...You're just leaving out details that she doesn't need to know. You are a wonderful mom and however, and whatever you decide to tell her will be the right thing for you both. Kids are so resilient, I think she will be just fine if you just tell her that her biological dad passed away. Trust your heart and love for your daughter, they will never let you, or her down....lots of hugs heading your way:)

BitterBeauty27 06/08/2012

Thank you Des Fluer accepted this and although she was sad she was ok with what I told her. And thank you very much Elizabeth

deleted_user 07/02/2012

I went through trauma of the abuse as well as several deaths as a young child.
The adults around me were secretive. The answers I had to come up with on my own were far worse than the truth. I would not go into specifics at this age. I would contact a school councelor/paid pro for input and back up.
Be honest with her. Lying means it reeeally must be bad and I cannot trust the adults around me for a straight answer.

I am also a former teacher of a child of a rape at age 11. She was born when mom was 12. She will see herself differently when she eventually finds out. She was not conceived in love---but she is soo wanted now.

deleted_user 07/02/2012

Ps Children internalize things around them. They take on guilt and responsiblity that is not theirs. I wish someone had pulled me aside and told me:
all the deaths around me were not my fault.
I was not in danger of dying next
It is ok that I am the one that is still alive.

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