HI. I think the best thing you can do is really listen to yourself. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. If you want to really heal the wounds and carry on into a full life then I think you have to begin trusting yourself. I know it is scary either way but the best person to take care of you is you. If you think your home environment is keeping you stuck as a victim then look at other possibilities. The important piece of this is you. I have been in both situations (home and inpatient)...the bottom line is taking steps to find my truth and learn how to live with it without it constantly affecting me.

I also still live in the same house as where I was abused, and like you...each room holds terrible memories. Luckily, my Mum went all out to re-decorate most of the rooms to make it less real, but yes, it's very hard. It's been five years, and I still have flashbacks when I sleep in the sitting room, or sit in there for too long by myself, I have to be with someone that I feel safe with.

I think that inpatient might be good, I wouldn't know, never having been. But look at what you want to do, how you think that you'll overcome this. Maybe write a succession of letters, tell people exactly what happened. I know that my one drawback is that I've never told anybody exact details, and maybe I should have, or should do.

I don't really know what I'm talking about, so I'll stop rambling :]

Good luck x

I didnt live in the house that i was abused in but i do know that healing takes a long time, you'll have good days and bad days but as time goes on you'll have more good and less bad. I dont know how many times i had to tell myself that i could deal with it when i was falling to pieces but you can do this. Do what feels right for you

How does it feel to you? I was abused from age 11 to 16. I had no choice but to stay in the house where it happened. I could never have dealt with the abuse living there, but my dad was still there. If your brother is still in the house, it may be very difficult for you to heal. I totally get the memory thing in each room, too. I was 43 when I started therapy, and I couldn't bear going in that house. It was 3 years into therapy that I could handle going in, and now that my dad is dead it's not stressful anymore in the house. On the other hand, by the time I started therapy, I had my own house and it was my safe place. You do need a safe place, so it depends on whether you feel safe or not in that house, or is there somewhere you would feel safer. I think the inpatient idea is a good one, but it's not what I chose for me, because I knew I couldn't cope being somewhere where I had other peopple around because it was too threatening. In your case, though, I think it might actually be a good idea. It often helps in therapy to get on some neutral ground when you deal with this crap. Do you have to get a referral or go on a waiting list? I would go for it if I were you. At least call and talk to someone and find out about the program, see if you think you can hack it. Hope it helps.

wow i just my self went therw the same thing lived were my abuse took place 4 a year and couldnt take it any more & know one could understand what i went threw and why i hated 2 go home well finally i moved thank god im a little at peace but still can go threw sum emotins even though im out but the best part is yes eviorment makes alot of diffence because like u ,i dont have face that part any more the rooms ect.