Dear Jeanne36r, YOu made the first step in asking foe help. I know that flash backs are the pits.

I don't have memories of my abuse but I have body memories that make me feel sick, alone, terrified and sad. Have you tried talking with a therapist? I don't think I could get through all of this without my therapist.

I am here if you need to talk. I am a good listener. Take care Painter55

thank you painter55, i used to when i was in the hospitals and group homes. but now that i live in this small hick town it is more difficult to get to a therapist. i can't leave my husband alone for long periods of time.

the best way through it is with a therapist. they can give you the tools to cope and begin to heal, and start stopping those images from always flooding you. i know it hard, for a few reasons i am no longer and therapy, and those sickening thoughts alll come rushing back. Hang in there and hopefully talking about it here will help, until you can get back into therapy. but for it to really work i strongly believe in a trained professional helping over the course of years. take care, I am here if you ever need to talk about it. xoxox sarah

hi jean
i only have to dreams that keep playing over and over but i look at it as they are the one that are sick and they should be the one to take there own life.you are reaching out for help .I am new here.new trying to find the end to this mess but this seams like a good place to start lots of careing people we are all together in this WE ARE SPECIAL PEOPLE WE HAD STUFF HAPPEN TO US THAT OTHERS CANT EVEN THINK OFF NEVER MIND UNDERSTAND we are the surviors of it keep trying and it will come

jeanne36r it sucks when you live in a small town and can't find a therapist, can you and your partner go on a trip to the next town and see if you can find one there? Wish you all the best, if you can't find a therapist a good guide is a book called The Courage To Heal

hi jeanne,

so sorry to hear of your abuse. as far as how i deal with mine... well, the only thing i can do is keep giving it to god. for the longest time, i was mad at him, i cried out for his help while i was being abused and i felt he didn't want to help me. now, i see that he was there, even tho it was a horrible situation, he was still there. loving me.

i used to dwell on the abuse i suffered. relived it everday actually, but now, i hardly think about it. it is still there tho because when i try to figure out why i am struggling with the addictions i have, it always rears it's ugly head.

well, sorry this is so long. i just wanted to reply to this post and let you know that i am pulling for you and if you need a friendly ear from someone who's been there, you just let me know.

sam

maybe find a band or something that makes you feel safe...

when im having flashbacks and things i will listen to westlife and westlife alone coz they calm me and think of one thing that makes you truely happy, a person, a thing a place and just think until you know your ok. x

Jeanne,

The question is ask is a tough one but there is an answer. You have to face it head on with a therapist that knows how to help you heal and teaches you coping skills as well as other techniques to rebuild what was taken away. Which was trust, self-esteem, self worth and many other things.

I would suggest trying EMDR therapy it is the therapy that I recommend to everyone that is a survivor of sexual abuse or assault. It is a wonderful therapy that is used to help with PTSD and is what I used to get my life back!

Hugs!

how do i cope? well, i write, writing has always saved my life in So many ways!!! if i didnt write then i wouldnt cope, wouldnt be alright

Jeanne,

I don't have any answers on how to cope... in fact, i have trouble coping alot of days myself!

I am distancing myself from my abuser and hoping that this will help me begin to heal!

Does your area have a community counseling type of program? In Mississippi, we have a program titled Community Counseling, the therapist can come to your house, they also have pay scales that start at no cost and then consider what the person can afford. I think they call that a sliding scale for payments.

i am so very sorry. you did not deserve any of this shit. (sorry if cussign offends you, but in this case i feel i needed the empasizes) i think the only way to deal it to talk talk talk abou tit. write about it. i have a journal i only use to discuss the abuse. this way it doesnt "contaminate" my happy memories i want to record. and i can take it to my therapist and share what i want to. it really helps. keep on going you are worth surving through all of this.

i want to thank each and everyone of you for responding to my questions. it has helped me out in numerous ways. and has made me some wonderful friends. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.