Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
Hi everyone. I've posted on here before.
As as brief introduction to me and my struggle, my name is Tori and I'm an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse. My uncle molested and raped me (ugh...that word is disgusting) on multiple occasions throughout my childhood. For many years I had repressed the memories, until just a few months ago, when I started having flashbacks and they began to return. I've been in counseling and attending Celebrate Recovery to help me deal with all of this.
That being said, I am often completely overwhelmed on a daily basis. I'm still getting memories back nearly weekly at this point. My mind feels like it's dragging through molasses to do anything. I'm exhausted, numb, emotional, fearful, and often frustrated with myself. I'm a Christian, and I've been trying to hold on to God in all of this, but sometimes I feel like I can't even do that.
How am I supposed to function? I started a job about a month ago, and it is incredibly difficult to concentrate or remember details. I just feel so small and so slow. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice?
As as brief introduction to me and my struggle, my name is Tori and I'm an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse. My uncle molested and raped me (ugh...that word is disgusting) on multiple occasions throughout my childhood. For many years I had repressed the memories, until just a few months ago, when I started having flashbacks and they began to return. I've been in counseling and attending Celebrate Recovery to help me deal with all of this.
That being said, I am often completely overwhelmed on a daily basis. I'm still getting memories back nearly weekly at this point. My mind feels like it's dragging through molasses to do anything. I'm exhausted, numb, emotional, fearful, and often frustrated with myself. I'm a Christian, and I've been trying to hold on to God in all of this, but sometimes I feel like I can't even do that.
How am I supposed to function? I started a job about a month ago, and it is incredibly difficult to concentrate or remember details. I just feel so small and so slow. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice?
It is difficult to function a lot of days because even the smallest thing will destroy what little motivation I have.
The only thing I've found that helps me, is to find something, anything that makes me smile. It is really difficult to do, especially when your mind goes to such a dark place. I'll see a cloud that looks funny or interesting, I'll notice how the wind blows the leaves or grass and how it looks beautiful. I'll think of some completely obsurd joke. Or someone dancing funny. Sometimes it doesn't work, but I've noticed now that since I've started doing this, I've changed my moods around more and more.
It is exceedingly difficult to deal with these emotions and with what happened. Counseling helped me a great deal.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope my advice helps a little. :)
I'm able to compartmentalize ... basically, when starting a new job about 4 years ago I put all emotion aside and focused on the job. At home I kept myself distracted. The only time that I 'broke stride' was during therapy ... and for several hours afterwards while I tried comforting myself.
I am now known as a little strange, as I try to manage these emotions throughout each day. It's tough ... I'm glad that I learned to compartmentalize to survive, but sorry that I had to learn that talent in the first place.
I doubt that this will help you, but I am throwing it out there, just in case.
It will get better. I just kept going and made myself do things even when you don't feel like it. There are times to take it easy. God has healed me. He kept giving me breadcrumbs of hope along the way.
Even though it may be hard to hold on to the Lord. He is there, you have. He has been with me all my life, so close so near. I got saved
At about 12. He has never failed me ever! Find things to keep you grounded. Keep the faith and lean on him. Even in the storm he is there. Find a good Christian counselor. Find ways to stay in the present. Counting things. Journaling. I write anything down on a piece of paper it doesn't have to make any sense. It is a safe way to get memories out. Scents you like, take a bubble bath. I wish I could be more help in the work department. God knows you are healing, I alays thought I was evil, when I remembered. I realized he has always been with me. I felt his protection during my abuse. And I feel like Ruth in away. She came out God restored her life and she rested. She chose her mother in law and her God. I Say it doesn't say what she went through. To me she was redeemed and God took care. I have been fighting afraid of something bad happening , or people hurting me. I just need to trust God and rest in him. I have always been trying to protect someone ever watchful. No matter what God has our backs. John 3:16