Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
My step dad. The man that molested me for 9 years from the ages of 6 to 15 and continued to touch me up into my 30s passed away on January12th. I worry about how my mom is dealing with things but I am so confused about how I feel about it. Part of me is relieved that it's over and part of me is grieving because he was the only dad I knew. I need some advice plz.
Simply recognizing he played 2 roles in your life is outstanding progress. I'm both proud of you and a bit jealous at the same time. It took me years to realize my father is both my abuser and my dad at the same time.
Keep moving forward with your grief and outrage. A therapist may be a big help for your mental and emotional situation.
When the abuse is done by a parent, even a step-parent, there is a tug-of-war that goes on inside of us - part of us wants to love our parent and the other part wants to hate him. Both sides need to be given permission to grieve.
There are still parts of you who, despite what he did to you, still love him as your father. A little girl who looks up to her daddy and wants him to love her no matter what it takes. A little girl who wanted him to love her and pay attention to her. Then there are the older parts of you who know what he did was wrong and they know he hurt them terribly. There are so many emotions connected with this that you actually need to give yourself permission to feel them all because they are all justified emotions. Allow yourself to cry for the loss of your dad and allow yourself to punch a pillow because you are so angry he did what he did.
I agree with Alan, tell your therapist about all of this and work through the emotions in a safe environment and in a healthy way.
Take care